


it's now or never || JuV main story, Sezen + Yooran side stories

by Pineapple_Fanta



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Another Story Spoilers (Mystic Messenger), Best Friends, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Boys In Love, Boys' Love, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Comfort Sex, Crossdressing, Deep Route Spoilers (Mystic Messenger), Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Domestic Boyfriends, Drug Withdrawal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gay Character, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Injury Recovery, M/M, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Multi, Physical Abuse, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Public Sex, Recovery, Sex, Side Story, Soulmates, Triggers, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:41:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 26,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24870241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pineapple_Fanta/pseuds/Pineapple_Fanta
Summary: After Saeran and V were lost in the explosion, they were discovered several days later with burns, and V with a massive head injury. He had completely lost his sight; the RFA members were restless. He was in a coma for a month, and in that time, Saeran healed and came around to the members; he sought redemption. Yoosung offered to house him because of the tension with the others, and Jumin spent close to all of his time at the hospital, where his childhood friend was resting peacefully.
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Zen | Ryu Hyun, Choi Saeran & Kim Yoosung, Choi Saeran/Kim Yoosung, Han Jumin & V | Kim Jihyun, Han Jumin/V | Kim Jihyun, Kang Jaehee/Main Character (Mystic Messenger)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 57





	1. twenty-two years ago

**Author's Note:**

> this is mostly canon-compliant. Things to note:  
> In this AU,  
> V was able to visit his mother very occasionally as a child  
> V was a victim of child abuse by his father and step mother  
> POV will switch around  
> Some chapters will be V's memory/Jumin's memory of their childhood  
> 'Rika' is one of Saeran's few trigger words/phrases  
> This is mature, so keep in mind there will be vulgar language, adult themes such as alcohol, drugs, language, and sex. Just a formal warning :)

JiHyun was inside helping his mother, who was very weak, prepare dinner when he suddenly heard a loud crash outside his house. Since someone needed to watch the food, he excused himself from the kitchen and jogged to the front door, slipping his shoes on and walking outside. The first thing he saw was that a kid his age whom was adorned with dark hair and mysterious eyes, had crashed into the building in an expensive-looking toy car. He tried to hold back his laughter and raced to the boy's side, kneeling next to him since he was whining and holding his forehead in pain.

"Are you okay, dude? Here, let me help..." He reached his hand out to the other boy and grinned widely when his gesture was accepted. He pulled the kid out of his car, and the force he had used caused him to fall back a bit, the raven-haired child ending up in his arms. It was awkward, but he was in so much shock that he forgot to move away, and it seemed to be the same with the other boy. "You made a dent in the siding, you know... You should really be more careful." When he complained about the damage, he could see those silver eyes light up in realisation.

"Do you want money...? I have a lot of money." He quickly reached for his pockets, but JiHyun was quick to stop his hands in their tracks.

His soft blue irises were anxious at first about the request, but then they grew wide as he noticed the scar on the kid's forehead that was bleeding. So that's why he was holding his head... "I'm not worried about that! You're bleeding! Are you an airhead?" He ruthlessly dragged the other kid behind himself, leading him back into his house. After they both had their shoes off, JiHyun walked with him to the bathroom, disregarding his mother. He forced the boy to sit down on the toilet and frowned at his obliviousness, grabbing the antiseptic and a bandage out of the cabinets. He dabbed some disinfectant on a small cloth and then inched it toward the boy's huge forehead, then cleaning his wound up carefully.

When the bleeding was stopped, he threw the cloth away and grabbed the Band-Aid, unwrapping it and then spreading it over the cut. When he was finished, he looked down and saw a dejected expression and flushed cheeks. He leaned against the counter and managed a smile, easily becoming the brightest thing in the room. "I know—instead of paying me... I want you to be my friend. I don't have any, and...it would make my mother really happy." He suggested smoothly. He didn't receive much of a reply, but the nod was enough for him to feel encouraged. "The name's JiHyun! What's yours?" He confidently introduced himself.

"J-Jumin... It's Jumin..." He sheepishly replied, standing up and slowly clutching JiHyun's hand—a sign of their newfound companionship. "I don't have any friends either. Nobody likes me because my dad is rich..." He admitted shamefully, but for some reason JiHyun just laughed and patted his back supportively.

"I dunno about all that! But you do have a friend, dummy. I'm right here!" He reassured the other kid, but he was at a loss for a moment because his mother called for his assistance in the kitchen. He bowed and exited the bathroom, rushing to the stove and stepping up onto the small stool he had placed earlier.

His mom fed him a bite, and he tasted it thoroughly, then shaking his head. "It's missing something..." He pondered momentarily and then got down, heading to the fridge and pulling out some garlic. He brought it back and used the grater to shed some of the spice into the gumbo, then putting both things down and stirring the contents of the pot. Since the woman was deaf, he tried to compensate for her when he was able to visit. When he was finished, he handed the ladle to his mom, however he was quickly distracted because Jumin was already leaving his house. JiHyun followed him to the door, but he had to put his shoes back on before opening the door and heading back outside. By the time he was outside, Jumin was on a phone call, likely with one of his parents.

JiHyun waited patiently for the other to be finished with his call and then stood in between Jumin and his toy car, spreading his arms out at his sides with a pout on his face. "Please don't leave. Stay for dinner, at least." He begged the other, then changing the subject. "How old are you?"

Jumin folded his arms across his chest and frowned, rolling his eyes a tad. "I turn six soon. Why does it matter?" He asked boldly, and JiHyun became a little frantic.

"How soon?" With this, his urgency scared the other boy into freezing up momentarily. JiHyun didn't mean to be rude; he was just a little excitable.

"O-October... H-Hey, why do you care anyway? What are you thinking?" Jumin stammered due to the odd situation, his puffy cheeks tinted pink.

JiHyun grinned once again when he was answered. So Jumin was a month younger than him... He was happy about that. "Mine's September, so you gotta listen to me. I'm older than you. So...come inside for a bit." He giggled happily, holding out his hand for the taller child. When Jumin reluctantly grabbed his pale hand and covered his face from the embarrassment, the blue-haired boy pulled him gently back inside his house. For the last time, they took their shoes off together. Since his mother was still cooking for a bit longer, he took Jumin back to his bedroom. He didn't have many toys, but he did have his room to express his hobbies. He had sky blue walls, a chalkboard to draw and write on (and a sketch book to do the same), glowing stars on his ceiling.

When JiHyun turned the lights on, he went to go sit down on his bed that would eventually be too small for him. Jumin awkwardly stood at the door, clearly at a loss for words. So he patted his bed, ushering the boy to sit next to him. He was thankful when they were in each other's space again, simply because he got uncomfortable with emptiness around him. The tables quickly turned in terms of who was shy, though, because Jumin reached out and touched him, squishing his cheeks selfishly.

"Why do you have such a girly face? Even your eyes are..." Jumin asked all of a sudden, but he stopped in his tracks when JiHyun finally averted his gaze, his face on fire from how embarrassing the question was.

"I-I don't know... I've always looked like this... " He furrowed his eyebrows and grabbed Jumin's hands, staring into his sharp silver eyes as he moved them down from his face. "I-It's not nice to call boys girly, you know... unless they like it." He defended himself calmly, and once again the younger child seemed shocked by his simple words. Wasn't it common sense?

Jumin went quiet for a moment and then pulled his arms back, blankly staring back at JiHyun. "You don't like it?" He asked coldly, housing a somewhat indifferent glare. When he saw the older kid shake his head coyly, he looked away. "Okay. Then, what if I call you pretty?"

JiHyun couldn't close his mouth because of how surprised he was. These compliments...were fitting, and they were flattering, but they also gave him a bit of a complex. He had never felt this way before, but he didn't get a chance to give permission, because his mother peeked her head into the room and knocked on the door softly. He snapped out of his slight trance and stood up quickly, his heart pounding inside his chest. God, why was he acting so shameful? They were just teasing each other... That's what boys do.

"Come on, you two. Dinner's ready." His mother's voice was faint and disheartening as she smiled invitingly, holding her hands out, one for each child. The two boys each grabbed their respective hand, and they all walked to the kitchen together.

This is the day that JiHyun realised there was so much he still didn't know, including how much he loved his new friend. The happiness didn't hit him until twenty-two years later, when it really mattered.


	2. one month after the incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's V's first day out of his coma, and he's still very weak. Thankfully, the others are there to comfort him, but they need to get warmed up to each other again, unfortunately.

It was the only thing that kept JiHyun fighting his coma. Recalling memories in his sleep of his close friend, he was able to realise something horrible—simply put, he thought that if he stayed asleep long enough, the others would leave him behind. That's why he finally stirred up, carefully lifting himself. He would have been more calm, but he noticed how dark it was, no matter how wide he opened his eyes. He didn't want this to happen... Without his sight, he was even more useless than before. This was the first time he let himself cry in twenty years.

He was shaking from anxiety, and even the door opening didn't calm him down. He didn't stop sobbing until he felt the familiar touch of his friend, caressing his face, wiping his tears. "J-Jumin..." He murmured, his chest tightening with a familiar feeling of stress. "W-Why can't I see...? What happened?" He couldn't quite breathe properly, so when Jumin grabbed his hands he felt much more pressure than imaginable.

"Calm down. You're still recovering from the brain damage. You're actually extremely lucky...you almost lost your hearing as well. It was so much that the doctors had to keep you on life support for a few days." The businessman's tone was urgent and yet calming at the same time. He gave the facts, but it didn't help JiHyun to feel better at all. He was freaking out. "The truth is...after we found you, you were speaking incomprehensibly while you were passed out. Thanks to your small hints from then, we were able to find and rescue the boy you mentioned. He has been in pretty bad shape as well, but he did not have any brain damage. Unfortunately...Rika was nowhere to be found in the ruins of the building. There are only two safe outcomes to assume..." After finishing his report, Jumin bit his lip and clenched his fists angrily.

It was silent between them for a moment. V was frozen in place, stricken with shock from hearing about not only his own condition, but Saeran's as well. He didn't feel right to relax, which is why he was so stiff until he felt warm, engulfing heat surround his body in a comforting hug. Jumin didn't know what else to do; he was quite literally ahead of himself, and hadn't prepared anything else to say. Being so pessimistic...he had truly believed his friend would not recover. "I'm sorry, JiHyun. If only I had gotten to you sooner... I can't help but feel responsible after you called me with the warning. I've been scared...scared that you might not wake up. The thought has crossed my mind many times, truthfully... But I should have known better. You wouldnt be defeated by a mere bomb..." He ranted and ranted, which was extremely rare for someone as cold and closed-off as he was. He hated sharing his feelings and discomforts, and even fears with others because being weak was different from showing the world how weak he was. He was heartbroken; this was his childhood friend, the very first person to understand and accept him.

V listened to his dear companion rant, not thinking even once that he was tired of hearing that soft, low voice of his. He was touched by Jumin's willingness to speak his mind, and express his emotions, which left him with a racing heart. He couldn't help but grin at the lighthearted remark about the bomb, and he reached his arms out carefully, wrapping them around Jumin and nuzzling slightly into his chest. "I won't be so secretive from now on... I'm grateful to have you in my life." He cooed quietly, however despite his discomfort having been washed away, he began crying again, and even more than before. He didn't know why, but he felt so numb.

Jumin took a deep breath and played with V's gorgeous blue hair to calm himself down, closing his eyes for a moment. When he suddenly felt something warm dampen his shirt, he was quick to make some distance between them. He saw the man's tears, but he also saw that he was completely out of it, struggling to keep his own eyes open. "Just get some more rest. You're still healing..." He reassured the elder, helping him to lay back down and then wiping his tears yet again. He wanted to stay here by V's side and comfort him while he slept, but he was eventually ushered out by a nurse, who had to go through a three-a-day routine of administering medication to the man.

Once he was back out in the waiting room, he had the biggest, most obvious frown on his face. He just couldn't change how he felt, even if he was ashamed to look so vulnerable in front of the others. After he sat down and dropped his head in disappointment, he tried to relax, even combing through his hair anxiously with his fingers. "Luciel, how is your brother doing...?" He managed to speak up, attempting to take his mind off of how scared he was.

"Oh, um... I guess you haven't seen him in a few days. He's doing much better now that he's in rehab, but occasionally he'll still lash out when he sees me, or um...hears V's name." After answering the businessman's question, he awkwardly glanced around at the others. He was clearly aware just how obvious it was that Jumin was only acting strong on the outside.

"Is that so? Well, that's certainly good news... Do you have a living arrangement settled for him yet?" He lifted his head slowly, seemingly less afflicted with anger after speaking.

The redhead frowned in disapproval and sat down next to the man, trying to comfort him by hugging his body gently. "You don't have to worry about him so much. In fact, Yoosung offered to house him for a while since he wanted company anyway. They should be on their way right now, but traffic is being a pain." He explained the situation with a thumping, anxious heart, however he was visibly disappointed when Jumin nudged him off rather forcefully. "Sorry, I'll uh...refrain from touching you." He apologized quickly, then glancing at the others. He saw Zen smiling and staring at him like a dork, almost like he was a proud mom or something.

"I want JiHyun to stay with me, at my place. I won't feel safe unless I'm near him at all times." Jumin changed the subject, biting his bottom lip after speaking since he was working out the logistics in his mind. What if V didn't want to stay with him? Or even worse...what if V wasn't well enough to be discharged for a while longer? Either way, he felt the pressure of the situation very personally, and even his assistant's caring eyes couldn't distract him.

"But Mr. Han... You're going to be bombarded with work when you decide to go back. It would be bad for you to take care of V and skip more days. Not only that, but all you've done lately is worry. You need a change of pace." She obviously wasn't trying to be harsh, but he took it the wrong way and scowled at her words, seemingly disturbed as he looked toward the patient room.

The raven-haired man didn't even reply to Jaehee, but instead stayed quiet until finally the nurse came back outside for him, a bright grin on her face. "Good news, sir... Your friend is very healthy as of now. After I gave him today's second dose he sat up and took his bandages off. He said he wanted to walk out here, but I told him it would be too dangerous, and he stood up anyway... Thankfully he wasn't hurt, but he's made a lot of progress for his first day being awake. I'm going to run his blood sample and then be right back with you, but in the meantime you may all enter, since he's feeling rather energetic." Her voice was fairly calm, but the others were all considerably nervous because of the circumstances. After all, V was suffering from brain damage, which would understandably make him more sensitive to sound and light.

Jumin stood back up slowly, not waiting for the others as he walked back to his friend's patient room. He opened the door with his head held high, and was rewarded with a sight he was definitely surprised to see: V was sitting on the edge of the bed, kicking his legs impatiently and holding his pillow in his arms securely. When he approached, the man looked his way, though he still felt disheartened at the sight of those cold, empty eyes. "You tried to stand. How did it feel?" He made simple conversation, rubbing the top of V's head gently.

"Oh, Jumin... It felt a little weird, but there's no point in lazing around. I'd much rather keep trying to make sure I don't lose all feeling down there, you know...?" He flashed an angelic smile at the man, attempting to lighten the mood since the topic was grim. "While I was sleeping... I thought about my childhood a lot. I thought about my mom and...about you. I was always using my one month seniority to my advantage, wasn't I? And now you're the one taking care of me..." He ranted in his soft, low voice, and Jumin just listened endearingly. Actually, he felt so much better thanks to V bringing back his usual habits, so much that he actually smiled against his will. He couldn't help it when the man was so inviting and carefree.

"Yes, that's right. If I recall, the day we met, you put a bandage right across my forehead. It made it look even bigger than it already was." The businessman joked briefly, then walking over to the bed and sitting right next to V. He grabbed the elder's hand and interlocked their fingers lovingly, a pale pink rising to his cheeks because of the shyness he felt being surrounded by the other R̶F̶A̶ members. At least V couldn't see how sheepish he was being.

JiHyun was about to speak again, but the door to the patient room suddenly opened again. Everyone was just as confused as he was until Yoosung and Saeran walked in, the younger twin hiding behind the blonde cautiously. "Sorry we're so late... The bus got caught in major traffic and my phone died right after Seven-hyung called me." He explained quickly, but he was a bit taken aback by the other members and their expressions. They all seemed so happy to see V. "I brought lunch for everyone. It's his favorite country restaurant..." He walked past them to the small glass table near the bed, placing all of the bags down on it in a stack.

"Thank you, Yoosung. You're so kind..." V grinned in the college student's direction, however his relaxation time was cut short by a familiar ringing in his ears, the same as the sound he heard when he was first impacted by the bomb. He clenched his eyes shut and held his head with his free hand, wincing for a moment. Thankfully his flash of pain didn't last very long.

"H-He's the reason I'm still alive... He fished me out of my private room and threw himself over my body to protect me during the explosion." Suddenly Saeran spoke up. These were the first meaningful words he had spoken since he was rescued. Before this, all he would ever say was 'yes' or 'no,' or 'no thanks.' It wasn't a miracle, just a little surprising. "You all didn't know about that... Cuz after I woke up I ran as far as I could. I thought he had died." He lowered his head in shame, his mint eyes full of sorrow and guilt. "I'm sorry I'm so useless. I didn't even help him." After he spoke, Yoosung rubbed the boy's back up and down to reassure him. They had grown close in silence.

"Saeran... You don't need to apologize. I protected you because you're important to both me and your brother. At that moment, I didn't even think, I just knew I had to save you. Even though everyone else was evacuating, you stayed because _she_ fed you lies and made you feel like scum. If I had just gotten there sooner, maybe she wouldn't have-" V was suddenly fired up... The subject was the explosion, and he couldn't help but feel responsible, but thankfully Saeyoung covered his mouth, then squatting in front of him with teary eyes.

Nobody said anything after that, not even Saeyoung. It was so lonely, even when they were all there to comfort one another. It's because V was suffering with the weight of all their pain combined. It must have been torture for him.


	3. little by little

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Right when V seems to be making drastic progress on the road to recovery, it all gets flushed down the drain. 
> 
> T/w for seizures

Everyone ate in a sort of silence that was welcomed, in a way where they were all comfortable with it because they knew why it was happening. Jumin had to help V, which he was completely fine with, but the others were taking pictures and recording him as if he had never shown an inch of care for another human being. But in reality, Jumin was constantly helping others and rarely had any time for himself. In fact, he hadn't eaten in a few days because of how worried he was. Seeing V eat what he offered him made him relaxed enough to eat for himself, but he didn't want to disrupt their speaking time, so he ate while V was resting. After finishing, he went into the bathroom to freshen up a little bit, considering he looked like a hot mess, according to both Yoosung and Luciel. They didn't sugarcoat it at all.

As he looked into the mirror, he contemplated V's precious health, wondering if he really would be able to walk sometime soon. He was a pessimist at heart, so he figured it would be at least another week or two, but he was gravely mistaken. The V he knew...did not back down from a challenge. Ever. He always kept pushing himself to do better and set an example for the others. So why was he so surprised when V came walking through that door behind him? He couldn't see, right? Did he really feel around for a path all the way to the bathroom? By himself?

Jumin wanted to speak, but taking another look, he noticed his friend was headed directly for the sink, and he was sweating...a lot. He moved out of the way, but immediately regretted it because V started falling after losing his balance. He almost didn't catch him in time, but when he had V in his secure arms, he held him even tighter, though he was uncomfortable from all of the heat. The man was panting heavily and holding on for dear life; Jumin was terribly worried.

"JiHyun, are you feeling alright? You're sweltering..." He pulled away a little to examine the elder man's expression, only to see that he was clenching his eyes shut and trembling. Maybe it was a panic attack? It had been a while since he saw the other like this, if that really was the case.

"I...had a bad dream and woke up, but freaked out because I can't see, and now my head is...ngh..." V didn't let go of Jumin as he explained, eventually growing too weak to continue speaking and leaning his face against Jumin's shoulder. "I need to cool down... C-Could you help me—ugh!" His head was throbbing so badly that he couldn't even finish his question. Furthermore, he was unable to muster up any words after failing a second time.

Jumin felt pitiful watching his friend endure so much pain and not being able to help. He wanted to do something but he was just taken aback by how quickly V's condition could deteriorate. "Mm... Tell me about your dream, so that you don't have to face the trauma alone. It's the least I can do... You shouldn't even be up walking... You must feel really nervous to have put your safety at risk like this...which is why I want to listen." He carefully lowered V onto the toilet seat, then getting on his knees between the boys legs. He stared up at him with loving and soulful irises, and grabbed his pale hands, even though he would never be seen.

The photographer took a few deep breaths when he was situated on the toilet, clenching Jumin's hands tightly right off the bat. "I dreamt that I was unable to save Saeran, and that I died in the explosion... I've had these kinds of dreams before where I die, but...this time I could feel myself burning alive, like the world wanted me to suffer... That's why I freaked out when I woke up. It was a bit of a waking nightmare, you could say... I guess fire is still a big trigger of mine..." V calmed down the more he spoke, despite his words carrying much dreadful weight. Jumin didn't flinch while listening and frowned when V admitted to being sensitive. It was no winder the man had sweats and a fast heart rate—he was literally having a panic attack, just like he thought.

"It's okay now, though. Nobody has any fire nearby... And you didn't die in that explosion, whether you like it or not. I don't mean to be blunt, but you're alive, so you better make the most of it, or else...or else I'll..." He tried to think of a way to persuade V, but unfortunately he didn't have many ideas...the only ones that came to mind were definitely dumb. And also, he didn't like threatening people... He was a passive-aggressive person, after all.

"J-Jumin, I get it..." V managed a pained laugh, flinching afterwards because of his dizzy head. "I wasn't planning on getting all depressed... After all, you're with me. You're the only person who understands me, so I feel like I'm powerful when we're together. Don't you get that?" He admitted shamelessly, causing the businessman to blush faintly in response and smile finally.

"Of course I do. When we're together, I'm only thinking about you. Nothing else is important during these times." For some reason, it sounded a lot less embarrassing in his head... When the words left his mouth, V's smile appeared so spotless and angelic, and his cheeks were flushed pink. He was probably just as surprised how Jumin was acting.

Eventually, JiHyun opened his mouth to speak again, but the door to the bathroom opened and he stopped in his tracks. Jumin looked behind himself and saw Luciel, who had wide eyes and a red face. Did he perhaps get the wrong idea because of their position? Either way, Jumin stood up and turned toward the younger adult, clearing his throat anxiously. "Um... Sorry, I forgot what I came to say... This caught me off-guard." The ginger admitted sheepishly, humming to himself in thought. "Oh, right. I wanted to ask about Saeran. Is it really true...what he said earlier? You protected him, V?"

The blue-eyed man was silent for a moment after hearing the question, simply because he didn't want to feel like a martyr. When he was finally ready to face the facts, he frowned again and carefully lifted himself up off the toilet, then feeling his way over to the source of Seven's voice. He bumped into the boy soon enough, and held onto him to prevent another accident. "Saeyoung, the truth is exactly what he told you all... I tried to get him out of the headquarters but he refused to run away, and so... I forced him out, but since he was struggling so much, we didn't make it far out, and I threw myself over his body to protect him from the explosion. Unfortunately...it didn't keep him entirely safe, but I couldn't let someone precious to you die. I had to try and save him." The more he spoke, the more dull his expression became, but the explanation was well worth it, because Luciel hugged him tightly, acting in a way that resembled a son's love for his father: purely unconditional love.

The boy eventually pulled away, wearing a loving grin to expose his feelings of indebt for the older boy. "If you ever need anything, call me, okay? I won't hesitate to help you, no matter when or where. Try to rely on others from now on. You've always been so selfish and you hide your feelings, so just be more dependent on the trust you have toward your friends. You'll realise it's much less lonely to live like that. Trust me, I know..."

He reassured the man and rubbed his shoulders comfortingly, then fixing his long hair out of his face. It was around this time he began to notice the dark and threatening aura Jumin was giving off, likely out of jealousy. "Um... I'll be going now. Zen is taking us out for sweets. You've got Jumin Han here with you, though, so you should be more than okay. If you want something for us to bring back, have him let us know." After getting the point across, he awkwardly backed away and out of the bathroom, then rendezvousing with the others in the lobby.

After they were alone again, V had a rosy blush accompanying his fairly innocent expression- even his eyebrows were drooped. He turned around to face the direction he assumed Jumin was in, but freaked out a little when nothing was said for a while. "Jumin? Are you here?" He asked timidly, his face covered in hurt— his heart and mind betrayed him as usual.

"No, I'm not here." Jumin teased the man, a grin sneaking up onto his lips as V pouted. "Sorry. Let's go back to your bed, alright? You never know when your strength could give out." He suggested, grabbing V by the arm a bit roughly just as the boy had done to him throughout their school years. He knew he needed to be forceful so V was ensured his safety. That's why he didn't wait for a reply, pulling the man out of the bathroom and back to his bed.

He assisted his friend in getting settled back in bed, then sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling out his phone. "Give me a minute to make a call. I promise we can talk more afterwards." He informed the other and then quickly dialed his cleaning staff manager's number, waiting for him to pick up. He was a bit startled when V suddenly leaned against his shoulder, but just chuckled since he figured the man was being playful.

When the call went through, he was about to speak and inform the man to have a guest room prepared for V, but he was frozen in place, stricken with fear when his best friend shook and convulsed rapidly against him. His first instinct was to put his phone down and carefully lay V down. It was so hard to see him like this. He had never witnessed a seizure, and he didn't think he ever would until now. It was all the more reason to press the emergency call button near the bed though. He was scared...really scared. Why did this happen?


	4. slow and steady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V relies on his memories to keep him from going astray in his time of need... Another good memory to keep the bad thoughts away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe I love having the ability to make jumin a tsundere

V had an ailment known as a concussion, which unfortunately hadn't healed yet. Even though he couldn't see, his eyes were still sensitive to light. Not only that, but thanks to the explosion, his hearing wasn't the best either, and the ringing started happening...and then he suddenly just started seizing out. He didn't know what went wrong, but he couldn't remember anything that happened after that. On the contrary, he took comfort in more of his childhood memories with Jumin. After CPS forced him to stop seeing his mother every so often due to her health being a burden, he stayed with his dad and was enrolled in private schools as long as he could remember. The only good thing was that he got to see Jumin every day. His father was so violent and unimpressed that he constantly felt inferior and empty. Jumin totally understood him, though.

It was his first day of grade school, and he was eight years old. His father had kept him away from other kids until third grade, but he still got to see Jumin at church. He forced himself to stop thinking about his mom after a while, because whenever he'd bring her up, his father would get...so angry.

During that day at recess, all of his classmates were outside playing with one another. He stayed inside and worked. Well, he tried to, but the silence was killing him. Thankfully, about five minutes into the period, Jumin walked back into the room with two cans of cherry soda. He walked over with his usual blank face and then pulled a chair up to V's desk, putting the drinks down forcefully and sitting down. The older child flinched at the movement and loud sounds, finally snapping out of his depressive state and looking up at Jumin. "You don't have to stay in here with me..." He looked back down at the desk, his eyes squinting from the heartache.

"I-I'm not doing it for you. I just want to be inside..." Jumin stammered because of the accusation, his eyes wandering nervously for a moment. He was basically the 'tsundere' type, but with less attitude. "Why don't you stay with me and my parents for a few days? We can ask your dad together, so he definitely won't refuse." He suggested calmly, opening his soda and taking a drink.

V didn't know what came over him, but as soon as Jumin brought up his father, he just broke down and finally started crying like a baby, getting tears on his assignments. As he sat there and sniffled, wiping his eyes rapidly with his sleeves, Jumin scooted closer and pulled him into a comforting hug, his eyes full of concern. "S-Sorry... I guess I'm just scared..." He admitted in between his whimpers, resting his head against Jumin's collarbone and holding onto his shoulders with a tight grip.

The younger boy hugged JiHyun even tighter when he still wasn't able to calm down, rubbing his head to distract him from his pain. "Uh, um... I got it, s-so don't worry anymore. I'll protect you. You can always rely on me." Maybe he said these things simply to avert the crisis in that moment, but he always kept his word regardless. And more importantly, V actually relaxed a bit after hearing the reassurance. "Why don't we go somewhere? I can show you around the school if you want."

"No, it's fine. I should keep working. I won't get anywhere in life if I slack off. My dad says that the creative mind isn't at its full potential until the intelligent mind is at its full potential. I mean, he's right, isn't he?" JiHyun went silent for a bit, eventually pulling away from the embrace and blushing as he shyly evaded those mysterious lilac eyes. "Thanks for being here, at least... To be honest, I feel a lot more confident when you're with me." He finally admitted, shoving his hands between his legs and looking down because of his embarrassment.

"I'm glad. Um...s-same here." Jumin agreed with a flustered expression, then turning away and drinking his soda coolly. Once he was done with it, he stood up and fixed his bow tie, then furrowing his eyebrows and yanking V up from his desk. He was completely disregarding the boy's wish to keep working, but somehow he felt that he wanted the exact opposite, so he just had to take initiative.

"J-Jumin...what are you doing? I already told you I-" he complained, though the younger boy covered his mouth and glared at him. It was...definitely intimidating. After a moment, he frowned and gave up trying to struggle, allowing Jumin to pull him out of the classroom. "Where are we going...?" He asked timidly, looking around the spacious halls curiously.

The dark-haired boy stayed quiet, likely to keep it a surprise, and brought his friend all the way up to the roof entrance, then opening one of the large doors with his free hand. Normally they were locked and off-limits, but he knew how airheaded the janitors were. Once they were outside in the breeze, Jumin let go of V, watching as the boy walked slowly to the fences surrounding the edge. He went after him, and was for some reason very surprised that the boy was peering over the fence. He had a shimmer in his light eyes that Jumin had never seen before.

Unfortunately their minute of admiration for the cityscape was cut short as the wind picked up, causing V to nearly go over the fence since he was on his tiptoes. Jumin was quick to pull him back from the rails, figuring it was too dangerous to be so close. He didn't realise until V was in his arms that the boy was shaking and holding onto him for dear life. All he could think of in the moment was to gently caress those pretty blue locks, using his other arm to pull V closer. "Hey, JiHyun... You know, you remind me of the sky. When it's sunny, the blue is brighter and has no clouds to make it gloomy. But when it's dark and stormy, there's almost no blue left, and there's a lot of rain." He spoke philosophically, pulling away a tad to look into V's dull eyes. "I can always tell when you're sad because of that, you know...? Maybe it's just me being observant, but I don't think the sun should let those clouds get to it. Do you know what I mean? That's why rainbows exist, isn't it?" After this meaningful message, JiHyun went a bit wide-eyed, flushing from the embarrassment he felt.

"Y-You're really straightforward... First you call me pretty...now I'm the sun?" V stammered sheepishly, averting his gaze to avoid awkward eye contact. "B-But I kinda get what you mean... I guess the sun's still bright, even with all of the clouds out today." He couldn't help but smile when he said this, because then he understood how well Jumin could read him, and how much he wanted to see him happy. It made him feel so loved...nothing like what he felt at home. "Thank you. That was really sweet, Jumin. I had no idea you could be so sappy." He giggled jestingly.

"Urk-!" Jumin stood there still in shock, refusing to look at the boy's angelic expression since the embarrassment from his previous remarks was finally rushing back. "S-Stop that... What was I supposed to do? I can't just stand here like an idiot when you're suffering." He made a sorry excuse, but after V didn't reply for a minute, he got worried and finally looked at his vibrant face, exposing just how weak he was when the other was happy. They didn't get to mess around anymore, because one of the staff members opened the doors to the roof and came to get them with an angry walk. He must have seen the camera footage or something. What a bummer...


	5. fluke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V finally begins feeling human again. Seeing his friend so happy, Jumin gains a little of his confidence back, but not when it comes to V.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes jumin simp   
> and yes V is oblivious 💔

When V woke up, he didn't know why, but he could magically see again. Sure, it was only one eye, and completely blurry, but the moment he could make out the silhouettes of his many friends, he wanted to tell them how happy he was. Unfortunately, he couldn't lift his body. He couldn't move anything. He thought he was paralyzed for a moment, but that's when the nurse unhooked a strange strap from a few places on his body, allowing him to raise his arm and reach out to the closest person, which happened to be Yoosung. He saw a yellow blur, but that was the extent of his vision. He thought it was Rika. He didn't know for sure, but he probably wanted it to be Rika. He didn't really know what he was feeling.

His hearing was slowly starting to come back to him, but right when Yoosung grabbed onto his hand, he clenched his eyes shut because of how cool the other's skin was. It caused a slight sensory overload. "Rika...ngh... Rika...Rika..." He couldn't stop saying her name for some reason. He felt like he was trapped in between a dreamland and reality. Had he been on the brink of death or something?

"...yun...JiHyun... JiHyun..." Someone was calling out to him, but he didn't know who. Everything felt so fake. Eventually, his hearing came back in a rush of pressure, and it caused him to jerk onto his side in shock. He opened his eyes in this instant as well. Just as he thought, his sight was gone again. He wondered why exactly it came and went, and how. The only thing he knew for certain was that he had lost nearly all feeling in his legs. They felt like cement blocks were tied to them.

"Hey, V... is your head okay?" Another voice spoke up. Now that his ears weren't so clogged up, he could make out the owner, which was Yoosung. He had the biggest frown on his face, as if he yearned for something...or someone. "V...?" The blonde spoke again, but the eldest man remained silent, his eyes soulless as usual. He turned onto his other side. He couldn't bear to face the others after speaking Rika's name so desirably, even if he couldn't see them.

After turning away, he could hear someone breathing heavily. He didn't know what was happening until he heard Yoosung continue to talk. "Saeran? Are you alright? Do you need to step outside?" Before he knew it, he could hear two sets of footsteps leaving the room. He assumed he had accidentally triggered Saeran's switch, thanks to his trauma associated with Rika.

"Is he going to be okay?" Jaehee wondered aloud, but little did V know, she was actually referring to him, and not Saeran.

"The seizure happened too suddenly, so it's hard to say. I'm just glad I noticed when I did. He was foaming at the mouth..." Jumin sighed frustratedly and wiped his face to deter his eyes from closing on him. He was exhausted, needless to say. But either way, he mustered up the courage to walk over to the other side of the bed, sitting on the edge and carefully running his fingers through that stunning blue hair. "JiHyun, can you talk to me? Does your head hurt in any way?" He tried to get the man to talk, but it was useless.

V didn't answer the question, but instead he forced a smile and moved his hand atop Jumin's, playing with his fingers to distract himself. "Are there any clouds today? It feels like a cloudy day..." He changed the subject, hoping the other would get his reference to their childhood.

To be honest, Jumin did take a minute to remember something from nineteen years ago. When he did, though, he understood how V felt without even trying. "In fact, it's storming outside, but you know...the sun is still bright. I'd even say it's brighter than usual." Once he made the connection, V licked his chapped lips and grunted as he slowly lifted himself up, using his upperbody strength to pull his body further back and straighten his legs out.

"I guess it's the sun's duty to be bright during cloudy days, isn't it?" V indulged the younger adult, causing the others to stand and watch their interaction in utter confusion.

"I wouldn't say it's a duty. It's more like...a burden. Don't you feel the same way? But even so, being dull won't help anything. The only way a rainbow will appear is if the sun is shining." Jumin smiled sweetly, his face full of admiration.

JiHyun finally grinned without restraint, chuckling at their little rambling session. "Yes, yes. I guess that's true."

"Uh... You two...are being really weird right now." Zen pointed out their strange behaviour, scratching behind his ear awkwardly.

Jaehee smiled supportively, her amber eyes bright as day. "I think it's a good thing. Look at Mr. Han's smile... He hasn't made that face since he went through with his c-business."

The redhead watched the two just stare into each others' eyes, blushing because of his own thoughts weighing him down. "They have a lot of memories together, that's for sure. Seeing Jumin's smile is definitely what I needed." He admitted shamelessly, but he flinched a bit as Zen leaned onto his shoulder with his arm.

"He wouldn't be like this without your amazing skills... You're the one who found V's location, which makes you a hero, you know? We couldn't have saved him without you." The actor charmingly replied, his eyes holding a glint of intrigue. It was one of the features that made his sex appeal so high.

"W-What?" Seven swallowed a lump down his throat, his cheeks flushing even more because of all the respect the man was giving him. He didn't feel deserving of the praise, but it made him all warm inside. "I-It was nothing... I would do it again...for any of you guys." After getting this off his chest, he awkwardly shoved Hyun's arm off of his shoulder, then rudely walking away from him and Jaehee and out of the room. He needed to be left alone for personal reasons, but Zen followed him despite knowing that.

Jaehee stayed behind momentarily and walked over to the bed, leaving the key to Rika's apartment near V's body. "MC really wanted to visit you with us, but I'm afraid she's gotten extremely sick. Not sure how it happened, but since she's been staying with me, I think I should return this key. I do hope you're able to heal in short time and get back to your hobbies..." She bowed politely and smiled on her way out of the room, leaving just the two childhood friends alone again.

"Jumin, um... Are the others all gone? I kind of want to say something in private..." V spoke up shyly, blinking away his tears from straining his eyes too much.

For some reason, the younger man was imagining something completely shocking. He knew they were best friends, but was it possible JiHyun felt something more for him? What was this private talk about? He had goosebumps just letting his mind wander to the endless possibilities. Not only that, but his heart was pounding like crazy. Was he completely misreading the air or what? "Yes, they've all left. What do you want to tell me? I won't get upset or anything." He gulped nervously, wondering why such a grown man like him was blushing and fantasizing like a child.

V took a moment of silence, the reason unbeknownst to Jumin, and then finally took a deep breath, furrowing his eyebrows in disappointment. "The thing is... Since I woke up, I haven't been able to feel anything below my waist... I-I don't mean that in a perverted way. My legs are hard to move..." He admitted sorrowfully, expression full of hurt because of the implication. "I really want to be with you... I want to stay with you, y'know? But if I can't walk anymore, then... I don't know what I'll do with myself..." He brooded, but Jumin was definitely annoyed for a different reason.

"Well, there's always the wheelchair option. I don't mind if I need to push you everywhere. I want to be useful to you, Hyung." Jumin replied without getting angry, though he only realised after speaking how strange it was for him to call V by that honorific. He was completely embarrassed, but he held that same blank expression regardless. "I think you'll be better off staying here for at least a few more days, though. Not only did you have a seizure out of the blue...it could happen again at any time, and the doctors still aren't clear on what exactly caused it in the first place. Their only educated guess is that you were stressed or your ears gave out on you. That explosion did reach pretty far, after all."

"Yeah, I guess so... I just don't want to end up like my—" V began to rant, but stopped himself since the topic was sensitive and intrusive. He could have gone all day without thinking of his mother, and how guilty he was for leaving her alone for so long, but he honestly deserved it, didn't he? "Never mind... I shouldn't be thinking such grim things..." He shook his head carefully, then feeling around for the key Jaehee had placed nearby. It felt so nice to hold it again. He would be lying if he said he didn't miss Rika. She wasn't a bad person, just very ill and misunderstood. He never wanted things to end the way they did. But maybe it was for the best... He was with Jumin now, right? The intimacy included in such a deep bond between friends was all he needed.


	6. pitter patter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V and Jumin grow closer than ever...literally. Two night-owls in a pod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some romance is sparking (＊￣︶￣＊)  
> Also Seven is a mood in this chapter :^)

Jumin decided on staying another night at the hospital, and had changed into a pair of comfortable clothes that Jaehee brought to him. Obviously she tried to get him to reconsider and sleep on a bed for a change, but he replied that if V wasn't comfortable, then neither would he be. So he tried to get some rest on the couch in the patient room, but every time the storm got worse outside, he would wake up. One time when it was really late, he woke up to see V sitting straight up in his bed with his eyes wide open, as if he hadn't been to sleep yet, or he had been awake for a while.

Since he couldn't just let the man be so restless, he stood up and walked over to the bed, grabbing his hand gently. "Are you feeling okay? It's the middle of the night." He leaned over the bed a bit and tried examining the man's face, but he closed his eyes and smiled happily. He was surprised to say the least.

"I'm glad you stayed with me, Jumin... I have a lot on my mind, that's all." V explained himself briefly, seemingly relaxed on the outside. "Do you think the others are dealing with this well? I can't stop worrying that something will go wrong while I'm like this..." he admitted, reopening his eyes and playing with Jumin's fingers to distract himself.

"Hm... Well, I'm not an optimist by any means, however, I'm fairly certain nothing will happen. It seems not only illogical but also counterproductive, considering she likely wants to stay hidden. Otherwise, she wouldn't have run away." He gave his thoughtful opinion and watched as V's eyes lit up.

The older man hadn't imagined Jumin would think she was still alive. Maybe they were just hoping for her to be alive, and didn't actually believe it, though. "You think she's...out there somewhere, then?" He asked timidly, biting his tongue out of nervousness.

Jumin couldn't help but laugh a little at the question. Obviously V thought the same, or else he wouldn't have brought it up in the first place. "You do too. She's definitely...out there. It just seems impossible for her to make a move, because MC is not at her apartment anymore, and on top of that, she lost her hacker." He reassured the other confidently, and then watched him sigh in relief. So that's what he was worried about? "If you're still worried about the others, I could log into the messenger and chat with them? I'm sure at least Yoosung and Luciel are awake."

"If you don't mind...that would be appreciated." V replied quietly, though he frowned a little thinking about the others. He hoped they weren't awake because of him. "Um... Jumin... Can I ask you something?" He spoke up yet again, waiting a moment since he felt a little awkward. He was blushing, just like his friend soon was. "Do you think we could...sleep together? Like old times... Sorry if that's childish of me. I just want to...be next to you." He didn't know how he got the words out of his mouth without overheating, but he was definitely more red than before. Not being able to see made it that much more nervewracking. However, he knew he was worried for no reason when Jumin squeezed his hand and pressed his lips against his forehead.

"I'll sleep with you. You don't want to admit that you're lonely, right? You never were one to be so open..." Jumin pulled away slowly and then walked over to the couch, grabbing his phone and returning to the patient bed hastily. As soon as he scooted V over and sat down, the man clung to him desperately, causing him to freeze in shock. He really didn't think this was a good position, considering it meant V would be able to hear how fast his heartbeat was.

After a moment of pure silence between them, Jumin turned his phone on and navigated to the messenger. He saw that a chatroom was already open and entered it. The names at the top... Everyone was online. He grinned unintentionally as he read through Seven and Yoosung's usual bickering.

**Yoosung☆**

I'm just worried about him...

He took a while to calm down earlier after hearing Rika's name.

**Zen**

Well it's kinda understandable after she treated him so badly... No human would be able to withstand that much drug abuse.

**707**

;;;;

Can we change the subject?

Look!

Jumin arrives!!!

Hiya big daddy (*>_<*)ﾉ

**Jumin Han**

...

I see your coping methods have not changed.

Good evening everyone.

**MC**

Jumin!

How is V doing? Jaehee told me he seemed pretty healthy!

**Jaehee Kang**

^^;;

**Jumin Han**

He's awake right now.

I don't think he got any sleep yet.

But he's peaceful, if that's what you want to know.

**Zen**

Looking at V makes me way too nostalgic...

He hasn't changed one bit since we first met.

**707**

Djwiwnwkcdoaqmfctn

**Yoosung☆**

Uh

You okay Seven?

**Zen**

...

He just got off the couch and went to the kitchen

Brb gonna check on him (=_=;)

**Jumin Han**

Luciel is with Zen?

So they were flirting earlier.

I thought I was mistaken.

**Yoosung☆**

lololol

hehe Jumin you're funny all of a sudden

**Jaehee Kang**

Zen didn't want Luciel to be alone

So he invited him over

You haven't been here, but...

**Yoosung☆**

lololol Seven is pretty wasted

I thought he didn't drink but apparently not

**Jumin Han**

He must be stressed...

I'm worried about him.

Didn't he seem abrasive earlier?

**Jaehee Kang**

I'm pretty sure he's nervous about letting others get close to him, just like you are, Mr. Han

Zen tried to comfort him a few times but he wasn't acting like himself.

**Zen**

I wasn't flirting with him.

Mr. Son of a CEO,,, you haven't changed either

**Yoosung☆**

Jumin has changed a lot!!

He used to not care about anyone but himself

Now he's not pretending to be emo anymore he's all huhuhu i lov V

**Jumin Han**

You are very lucky you're my friend.

Might I add, you're fairly 'emo' yourself

You cry all the time

**Yoosung☆**

Do not!!!

(T_T)

You're a meanie

**Jumin Han**

( ˘ω˘ )

You started it

**Jaehee Kang**

He has definitely changed.

**MC**

Jumin, is this how you used to act when you and V were children?

**Zen**

I'm kind of curious too...

What was V like?

**Jumin Han**

If you really must know...

As a child, I was constantly trying to cheer V up, because he would come to school every day with a frown on his face.

He wouldn't be comfortable with me sharing his trauma, but all you need to know is that he was very unhappy. I dragged him all over the place and talked about things that would take his mind off of his mother and father.

Every time he smiled, it was the sunniest day imaginable. Seeing him happy was like a gift for me, because I was the one getting him to smile.

On the other hand, whenever I was upset, he teased me until I was too embarrassed to be sad. I was a fairly stubborn child... And he definitely used that to his advantage.

**Yoosung☆**

wow

That was the most touching thing ive read in a while

Jumin,,, ur so sweet lemme hug u

**Jumin Han**

please refrain from touching me

**Zen**

omg he didn't capitalize the first letter of his sentence

**Jumin Han**

Shut up.

I've said way too much...

Now I'll be labeled a softy...

**707**

just read that paragraph and lolol omg

Jumin ur so cute (˘̩̩̩ε˘̩ƪ)

i bet u were hella tsundere

**Jumin Han**

I am not cute.

What does that word mean? Is it a Japanese term?

**Zen**

It means uh,,,

basically, it means someone who is selfish and rude to hide their emotions around people they like

**707**

yupppppp lol

**Jumin Han**

That is...surprisingly accurate to how I acted when I was young.

**MC**

lolol did he just admit that

so funny lolol

**Jaehee Kang**

It is pretty hysterical

**Yoosung☆**

Hey I gtg

Saeran said the light is bothering him

**707**

...

...........

..........................

**Yoosung☆**

Yeah yeah I know

I'll tell him you said goodnight

**707**

(━┳━ _ ━┳━)

ty yoosung

**Yoosung☆**

He said 'tell him the same'

**707**

I can die happy

My baby bro .·'¯'(>▂<)'¯'·.

**Jaehee Kang**

I think you should get some sleep, Luciel

**707**

okay mom

**Jaehee Kang**

ˉ﹃ˉ

Do not call me that...

Jumin had a big grin on his face. Speaking to the others like this always seemed to cheer him up. They were a bunch of goofballs. They all said their goodnights to another, and then one after the other they left the chat. He sighed slowly and exited the app, then putting his phone down and turning a bit toward V, who was sound asleep now and smiling beautifully. He must have been recounting a wonderful memory, or dreaming of good times to come. Either way, he was glad to see the older man in a good mood.

They remained in each others' arms the rest of the night, keeping the squirming to a minimum. Jumin didn't wake up anymore now that he was cuddled up to the only person who mattered. He too had missed the times when they were younger, where they would sleep together after having nightmares or after a bad day. He hoped they could continue these new memories in the comfort of his own home...very soon.


	7. pain, pain, go away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven is an angry drunk type, eh?  
> Well, maybe just emotional...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sezen chapter!!! Yay my babies😘😘😘  
> Anyway, it was tough writing this chapter. It was pretty angsty at times. 
> 
> If you're only here for JuV, then you COULD technically skip this chapter, but it's not my fault if you miss out on Easter eggs ☺️

Saeyoung had never drank before today, other than the fake wine they gave out at church. To be honest, he was going through a lot, but he didn't like sharing his feelings with others. He knew that if he got too attached to the others, it would only be harder for him to cut ties in the near future. He was married to his job as a secret agent; being a hacker wasn't safe, which is why he knew to distance himself, just as Vanderwood had warned him several times.

For some reason, he caved, though. Why was it that he gave in and stayed the night at Zen's place? This was exactly the opposite of the tactics he should've been using. And yet he had drank so much alcohol that he was numb. He didn't know wines and whiskeys could take the pain away so fast. But unfortunately, Zen made the drinks off limits after their chat on the messenger. He didn't know if he could actually sleep, no matter how tired he was.

"Saeyoung... You've gotta get off the floor. And put your shirt back on." Zen complained and then rolled his eyes as the younger adult stuck his tongue out antagonistically. "If you're gonna be like that..." He rolled up his sleeves and then lowered his center of gravity, dragging the redhead from underneath his arms. Seven was heavy, but he was pretty strong, so it was only a bit of a struggle.

Right when he was at his bedroom door, Seven reached his hands up and wiped his hands all over his face, causing him to fall back in disgust. He tripped over the door frame in the process and landed right on his ass. " _Ugh_... Don't put your greasy alcohol hands on my face... Do you know how long it takes for me to get my skin perfect?" He wasn't too upset, because he knew what it was like to be in Seven's position, but still...his porcelain skin...

After a moment of staring at the man laying on the floor lifelessly, he huffed out a sigh and sat up straight, transitioning onto his knees to get a better look at the other. To his surprise, he was sobbing all of a sudden. He had never seen Seven cry before in his life, so he knew something was wrong. "Just as I thought... You're just scared to open up, aren't you? In reality, you're the biggest baby of us all." He teased the redhead and shook his head, putting a supportive hand on his shoulder from above.

"Shut up... Just shut up... You don't know anything about me. All you do is flaunt your stupid looks. You don't even have a brain..." Saeyoung didn't know what possessed him, but as soon as the words had left his mouth, he regretted them. He was wide eyed and slowly pushed himself off of the floor, staring up at Zen from his position on all fours.

The man had an expression the mixture of sadness, anger, confusion, and concern. He was completely silent, but the glare he shot from those passionate red eyes was enough to make him feel guilty. Those were definitely the eyes of someone in pain. To his surprise, that fiery remorse did not remain on Zen's face for long. In fact, he smiled after a minute, laughing a sorrowful laugh and furrowing his eyebrows as he smiled. "I understand now... So that's how you see me, huh? I should've known better than to help someone so selfish. Just do what you want. I'm done." His voice carried so much weight as he stood up. In the next few seconds, he was shutting his bedroom door in Seven's face, locking him out to avoid any more danger.

He truly did want the best for Seven, and hated doing this, but he couldn't be around him when he was drunk and stupid. Maybe the boy didn't mean it...but he didn't want to overthink everything. He took his hair down from its ponytail and then removed his clothes, walking into his bathroom with his phone, which he retrieved from his pants. Once he was inside the bathroom, he hooked his phone up to a speaker and put on some rock music, then running the water and hopping into the shower. He was used to cold showers, but he felt like he needed a hot shower tonight.

Once he was done bathing around fifteen minutes later, he stepped out of the shower and paused his music, grabbing a clean towel from the rack nearby. He firstly dried his hair as much as possible to make sure no water got on the floor, and then dried the rest of his body. When he was finally dry enough, he continued rubbing the towel over his damp hair, walking out of the bathroom casually. Never in a million years would he have imagined Seven to be sitting on his bed.

Now, funnily enough...as much as he sent shirtless pics to the ladies in the messenger and flaunted his natural beauty, he was a bit shy about...waist-down, so when Seven saw him naked, he kind of freaked out and threw his remote at the boy's face. He was too startled to consider that it was a mistake to throw something, but at least it gave him time to cover his privates up. He was a blushing mess as he walked over to the injured man, covering his mouth in shock. After helping Seven up, he averted his gaze and folded his arms across his chest. "W-Why are you in my room? I locked the door! Fucking jeez...you scared the shit out of me..." He glanced at the other out of the corner of his eye and noticed him blushing as well, a guilty expression on his face, as well as a huge mark from where he threw the remote.

"I felt bad...so I was gonna apologize, but you wouldn't answer when I called your name. So I picked your lock... Um... Sorry I scared you." He explained himself quickly, then biting his lip nervously and meekly staring at the ground. "I only saw a little... You're sexy anyway, so I don't know why you're embarrassed... We're both guys, aren't we?" He reassured the actor, but he could tell it only made him angrier.

"Do you even know what's coming out of your mouth anymore? A-And why would you call me that? You're just negating your argument!" Zen wasn't necessarily upset, just overwhelmed with a flood of emotions all at once. One of those emotions was fear, and another was discomfort.

Seven tilted his head in confusion when Zen complained about his compliment. Maybe he wasn't into getting compliments from guys? "I just have bi tendencies... Sorry if it weirded you out." He admitted shamelessly, then getting a bit lightheaded and stumbling backward. He couldn't feel much in his body, so he didn't notice he was falling until Zen suddenly grabbed his wrist and pulled him into his arms. "I don't feel good... Hyung... My heart hurts..."

Zen was very prepared to push the hacker away when he mentioned not feeling well, but he stopped retracting upon hearing the second remark. Was Seven just joking...? Was it a serious palpitation...? Or was he just emotional? "I-I understand so...sit down. Let me get dressed." He helped the redhead to sit back down on the bed, then rushing to his closet and fishing out some black sweatpants and a black long sleeve shirt. On the way to the bathroom, he grabbed some boxers from his drawers.

After closing the door behind him, he got dressed in no time. He hung up his towel and grabbed his phone before leaving the room. Fortunately, Seven was still in one piece, so he walked over to him and ruffled up his messy hair, sitting next to him carefully to progress their interactions. "Oh, I just realized, but where are your glasses?" He made conversation quickly, but for some reason, Seven seemed even more guilty after the question.

"I-I dunno... I threw up and didn't have them after that... I couldn't see well enough to look for them." Saeyoung held his arms securely, though he was unsure what he was protecting himself from...maybe his bad thoughts? "It's fine though. Um... I want to apologize for saying you have no brain... I don't know what came over me. You're nice enough to worry about me and take me into your home. If you didn't have a brain, you wouldn't be alive, so I'm sorry..."

Zen listened to the apology and felt his heart start racing. For some reason, even though they were the worst comforting skills ever, he was so touched by the words. He found it funny how Seven didn't know what to say and ended up smiling again, hanging his head as a laugh escaped him. "You're such a mess. Thank you for apologizing, but I don't think that's good enough." He lifted his head and noticed Seven was seemingly fearful of what he would request. "You know how you sent those pictures of your maid...? Mary Vanderwood, right? I want her number. She's totally my type."

Saeyoung gasped suddenly when he heard the last bit, and he felt extremely on-the-spot when he did so. He couldn't stop blushing, and his heart...why was it beating so damn fast? Was Zen actually a dumbass? Did he truly have no brain? Could he not tell that it was just a disguise? "Y-You can't be serious... Th-There's no way I can do that..." He quickly covered up his shock with an excuse, but he saw just how disappointed Zen was. He couldn't tell if the man actually knew and was fucking with him, or if it was the opposite.

"Oh. Really? That's a shame... I was looking forward to meeting her. She seems like a lovely young lady." Zen frowned, and Seven was quick to clench his eyes shut, trying to quickly make a decision.

"F-Fine! This is nothing for God Seven! I can give you her number, but she probably won't answer anytime soon. She uses her phone for emergencies mainly. Um, that's what she told me." The hacker took a deep breath and took Zen's phone when the boy handed it to him, typing in one of his many phone numbers and handing the device back to Zen with shaky hands. "So you'll forgive me now, right?" He stared innocently into Zen's passionate red eyes.

The actor blushed again because of how close they were, trying to forget that look on Seven's face by averting his gaze. "I was never mad in the first place. I know you didn't mean it..." He mumbled the last part, standing up abruptly afterwards and walking to the bedroom door. "You should use a spare toothbrush since you threw up. I'll go look for your glasses." He quickly excused himself and left the room, not giving the other a chance to complain.

The first place he looked was the kitchen, but there was nothing there. After that, he looked in the bathroom. Sadly, this is where a new problem arose. Yes, the puke was here. Yes, the glasses were here, but unfortunately...they were not in different places. Seven must have been too weak to notice that his glasses had fallen off in the toilet...

Sighing in defeat, he flushed the toilet, knowing the glasses would get caught. After the bowl was empty, he grabbed a lot of toilet tissue and picked the bifocals out with it. He thought they were still salvageable...until he noticed that the lenses were cracked. _Great_ , now the only able driver would be unable to drive them to the hospital. Well, there was always the motorcycle...

After putting the broken glasses down on the counter, Zen left the bathroom and went back to his bedroom. He was going to break the news to Seven, but the man was passed out on the bed, face down. "He's seriously on my last nerves..." He murmured to himself and walked over to the other bathroom, brushing his teeth quickly and drying his hair. With these two tasks done, he was finally ready to sleep. There's no way he could sleep on the couch...it was too uncomfortable. So he just slipped in bed next to Seven, then helping the other get under the covers. It was literally almost four in the morning, but at least he would be getting _some_ sleep.


	8. frail heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V tells a tragic story ending in more tragedy. The twins have a connection and increase their bond as a result.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly shenanigans, but this is a bit of an intro to the next few chapters, which will be sezen and yooran as Jumin will be focusing on work and ergo will not be at the hospital until he's completely caught up. The sezen is mostly hcs of mine but all imma say is that 
> 
> popular trope: someone gets sick, and another person takes care of them.

Despite the fact that Jumin slept a long time, V never once woke him up to ask to use the bathroom, or anything. It was pretty late actually, around eleven in the morning, since they were both exhausted. The only reason he woke up is because, well...they had visitors for lunch. It was Zen, Jaehee, and Seven, all gathered with red faces whilst looking at their sleeping positions. Perhaps it was a little suggestive since V was nuzzled into his chest, but he assumed they were just being judgemental again.

Slowly sitting up in the bed, he slipped off and cleared his throat, mainly embarrassed because of his comfortable clothes. The others had never seen him without a suit, so he was slightly uneasy. Just as he was about to scurry off to the bathroom to splash some water in his face, V grabbed his wrist from behind, staring in his direction with innocent and clueless eyes.

"Where are you going...? Let's cuddle some more, Jumin-ah. It's been ten years since we've slept together..." He grinned invitingly, tugging the man back a little. "It doesn't matter how late it is, right? Just a bit longer..." No matter how clean of a slate he had, Seven and Zen were still holding back laughter.

Eventually, the redhead wiped one of his strained tears and let out a little chuckle. "Man, I didn't know you two were like that!" He made fun of the two 'lovebirds' and watched as Jaehee covered her mouth to stifle laughter as well.

"It really seems as if we've come at a bad time..." The brunette awkwardly backed up into Zen, finally giggling a bit when the man rested a hand on her head from above.

Jumin didn't know why, but his face was completely red after their shenanigans, and his heart was racing. V was the same, except he looked genuinely embarrassed, whereas Jumin was simply pissed. "A-Ah...aha... So that's why you got up..." The older man laughed off some of his nervousness, then carefully pulling himself to the edge of the bed to be close with his friend again. "Y-You guys are misunderstanding the situation, probably... We slept together, but we certainly didn't do anything sexual, if that's what you're referring to... We aren't even romantically involved." He cleared up the misconception with confidence, not even getting shy while saying such things.

Zen chortled upon hearing the man's words, getting a kick out of V's apparent lack of innocence. "To say something like that so shamelessly... Have you been around Jumin too much maybe?" He teased the two; once again, V laughed like an angel, but Jumin was practically scowling, even shutting his eyes.

"I wonder what Jumin's face looks like right now... Is it as scary as I think it is? He used to get so mad when I teased him, so I can only imagine..." V reminisced, his voice growing quieter with each syllable.

"Hrgh..." The businessman suddenly growled in annoyance, grabbing the closest pillow and throwing it directly at Zen's face. "How dare you patronize me... I'm almost thirty." He complained childishly, then finally storming off to the bathroom and locking himself inside.

"In case you were wondering, he looked totally pissed." Zen spoke up again, tossing the pillow back to the bed and sighing in contentment. "Oh, right... Now that I'm thinking about it, can you tell us more about your childhood with Jumin? You guys were really different from now, according to him." He invited the man to speak, clearly anticipating the stories as much as the others.

"Sure, I would love to. But when did he mention that?" V tilted his head slightly, confused why the man would even bring it up.

Jaehee hummed quietly, wearing an obviously guilty expression. Maybe it wasn't right to bring this up, after all. Jumin would probably get upset. "Well...last night Mr. Han entered the chatroom and we were all there, and we asked him about your childhood. Don't worry, though. He didn't say anything personal." She quickly explained the situation, then sitting down on the couch nearby, along with the others.

The eldest man blinked in surprise, though it was pleasant to know Jumin talked about their past in the same way. "That makes sense... I'm glad he talked about us." He smiled yet again, seemingly relaxed because of how gentle his expression was. "What kind of things do you want to know? I have a few fun stories in mind."

Seven wasn't really interested in hearing, which could be discerned just from looking at his tired, lonely expression, he eventually just leaned against Zen and used him as a pillow to take a nap since he didn't sleep well (thanks to the alcohol). Meanwhile, Zen and Jaehee decided on a time frame. "Maybe a story from grade school. Thinking about high school makes me a little sad..." The actor laughed off his pain, completely disregarding how clingy Seven was being.

"Ah, then how about the time I got lost trying to take photos in the woods...?" Once he heard their noises of approval, he tried hard to remember all of the details. For some reason, they were slipping away from him, even though he recalled thinking about this particular memory during his long sleep. A little unsure, he began his story. "Let's see... When we were eleven, I secretly tried photography out as a hobby behind my father's back, and during the first week of me trying to avoid going home, I stayed out particularly late one night after school... I think it was around...nine, perhaps? I wasn't really good at reading the air around me, and ended up getting myself into danger. As I was taking a photo, I slipped into a tunnel and ended up breaking my first camera after only a few days. It broke my heart, because Jumin bought it for me, since my...since my father..."

He wanted to keep going, but his mind was racing, and he felt a little light headed. Talking about relations to his trauma was pretty hard, as expected. He just didn't know it would hurt so much... "A-Anyway... I was trapped for at least an hour and my phone was dead. But almost like he could sense my presence, Jumin appeared to my rescue. I was scared but I pretended to not be, and he said something... It's stuck with me for this long, um... what was it again?" He slowly began sounding weaker, and he was sweating visibly. Why couldn't he remember? Why was the most important detail so far away from him? "He said something like..." He tried to continue, but no matter what he tried, his mind was completely blank, as if the memory had been wiped from existence. "I-I can't... It's not there..." He gaped, tears forming in his eyes without his knowledge. "I don't want to forget... I can't be losing my memory... This isn't fair..."

Both Jaehee and Zen were frowning, tears in their own eyes at the sight of their friend going through such a crisis. But neither of them could muster up the courage to say something. So, suddenly, Seven stood up with a comforting yet pained smile and embraced V tightly. He closed his eyes and relaxed when the man hugged him back, then chuckling awkwardly. "Don't worry this much about something you can't control. You saved my brother in that explosion. If you feel any sort of regret, then that's not who you are. I know you're worried about your memory, but you just recently had a seizure, meaning it could be a short-term side effect until you heal up. You may not feel like you're making any progress, but listen, if you ever think you're not strong enough, remember one thing: that day you took me away from my abusive home. And look where we are now... You've fixed every problem in your path. You've helped so many people, so now's the time to be thinking about improving your own life. If you're going to do that, you need to heal, don't you? You need to heal, so don't get worked up over something like this. It'll set you back if you seize out again, and you know that. I know you know. So please, um... D-Don't worry. You'll definitely be—"

"I understand, Saeyoung... I hear you. I know you're hurting too, and yet you choose to comfort me like this. You're really such an amazing person. I wonder, who did you get it from?" He referenced to when they first started working together, and he could tell the atmosphere was a bit off in the room, however he just held the spitting image of the young boy he once took into his care. Before either of them could say anything else, he could hear sniffling from behind himself, toward the entrance.

The others saw something touching: the unfortunate younger twin was crying his eyes out, and yet his expression was blank as paper. He was probably dealing with a lot in his mind, and yet he walked closer, reaching an unsteady hand toward Seven's shoulder and comforting him as the boy stood up straight. He was clearly shocked when his older brother suddenly attacked him with a tight hug, entrapping him in these warm feelings of love. "N-Ngh..." He groaned in slight annoyance, though eventually he wiped the rude expression off of his face when Seven leaned his head down onto his collarbone.

"Sorry... I was so happy that you were worried about me that I couldn't help myself... Thank you for being here for me, even though you're going through much more than I could ever withstand..." The redhead eventually lifted his head back up, staring into Saeran's strained eyes. At first he couldn't tell because of his blurry vision, but the boy wasn't angry, just very embarrassed.

"L-Let go of me... You're seriously greasy... I hate that smell." The younger twin made an excuse, though it was pretty true. Zen had been thinking the same and just hadn't voiced his opinion. Nonetheless, he struggled and clenched his eyes shut, his cheeks a precious pink from the heat in his face.

Zen laughed awkwardly and stood up, prying the hacker off of Saeran's body. "Dude, you could've at least showered. You do smell like alcohol... I told you I would help." He scolded the man with a concerned expression, then helping him back over to the couch.

Saeran pouted where he stood for a moment, watching Zen help his brother, like they were so close... He was a little jealous that he wasn't on good terms with his brother, but he needed time to get used to affection again. He took a deep breath and tried to wipe the blush off of his cheeks, glancing at Yoosung as he took the food to the bedside table. "S-So...um... Where are his glasses? His eyes are really bad, you know..." He made simple conversation, tugging strands of hair down over his eyes to hide them more.

"Trust me, he's tripped about ten times in the two hours he's been awake. He actually got so drunk that he broke them last night and didn't realize it... None of us wear prescription glasses besides him so I don't know what to do..." The actor explained the situation and then huffed out a big sigh, glancing over at Seven, who was acting really strange, almost as if he was shy.

"I-I have spare glasses at my house, but they aren't gucci brand..." Saeyoung complained childishly, and Zen suddenly ruffled up his hair out of spite.

"Is that really what bothers you?! You're so selfish, I swear..." He bickered in response to the redhead's concern, and the scene caused V to laugh in adoration, but suddenly Jumin walked out of the bathroom, fully dressed in his suit and tie with messy hair.

V looked in the direction of the noise and smiled, eventually being met with a soft touch against his cheek. He didn't understand at first until those familiar hands fixed up his gown. Had he been accidentally flashing the others? Oh man... "Jumin, that's you, right? Are you feeling better now?" He spoke up quietly, not wanting to disturb the others laughing amongst themselves.

Jumin blushed and pulled the gown more over V's exposed legs, then looking into those gentle eyes. "What do you think you're doing, worrying about me? I'm just not used to affection. Besides, I was making a few calls. It seems I might be needed back at work sooner than I planned... I hate to leave your side, but Jaehee...Assistant Kang, I mean, has been working hard in my place and she hasn't been sleeping much. I owe her a lot."

"I understand. Um... I'll make sure to heal up while you're away, so that we can go home together, alright? To be honest, I think having the others here is nice, but it is stressful...haha..." He was nervous after admitting this, and Jumin caught onto it. The businessman stopped and blinked once he realized what the man meant. No wonder he was being so quiet around them.

"Alright. I'll try to explain to them later... Perhaps you should only have one visitor at a time to prevent any unnecessary drama to add to your stress. Don't worry." Jumin watched as V frowned and did the same, understanding his feelings just from seeing that disappointed glint in his sky blue irises.


	9. Ms. Vanderwood?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the awkward 'dates' of Zen and Mary Vanderwood. It's almost like Zen is purposely trying to get under 'her' skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> crying happy tears because of them🥺❤️  
> Also, same drill as the last SeZen chapter. You can skip if you want. :)

Saeyoung had asked Zen to drive him home since he couldn't see without his glasses, and he was currently lying in bed lazing away. He didn't feel like he should be around someone so influential, especially when he butted heads plenty with his particular guy. They were just too different, so he wanted to distance himself.

Regardless of that, he had two phones with him at the moment: the one he usually carried, and the one connected to the number he gave to Zen as 'Mary Vanderwood.' He needed to come up with an actual Korean name but he was too tired. He was currently in a chatroom with Jaehee, his younger brother, and Zen, the man of the hour.

**Jaehee Kang**

I wonder what kind of role you'll be getting come springtime... Something romantic perhaps? I'm very excited...

**Zen**

Haha (❁'︶'❁)

You're making me blush...

Oh, but speaking of... Spring is coming faster than I thought, and yet it's so cold outside still... It was below freezing this morning because of the rain yesterday.

**Jaehee Kang**

You're right... I had to run to my car it was so cold...

But why are you bringing it up?

Is something wrong?

(๑°⌓°๑)

**Zen**

Aha...

You're very intuitive, Jaehee

Actually, the thing is,,,

I have a really bad fever right now. I got home and immediately checked because I've been feeling kinda bad after being out in the cold... It didn't help that I had to drive my motorcycle.

It's not really a big deal- probably a common illness, but still... my head is spinning

**Jaehee Kang**

Oh dear...

I do hope you feel better soon. You should get some rest, alright?

**Saeran Choi**

You're being really quiet, brother.

**707**

lolol

what do you mean???

I didn't wanna interrupt their peaceful convo

**Saeran Choi**

You suddenly have an issue with interrupting them after you've done it in almost every chat...

I find that suspicious

**707**

...

You have a point

But honestly, I was just thinking.

Hey, Zen?

**Zen**

...what is it?

**707**

You don't have to seem so disappointed uwu

I was considering letting Ms. Vanderwood take some time off to spend with you, so if you want her to come over and take care of you while you're sick,,,

She told me just now that she would be glad to nurse you back to full health, if you would have her...

**Saeran Choi**

Saeyoung...

I can't believe you

**Zen**

A lady at my place with me...alone?

Isn't that a bit too,,,

you know?

Well, it wouldn't hurt to have someone taking care of me.

(๑• . •๑)

**707**

Right???

She's a very polite young lady and keeps to herself a lot, but it might be relaxing to have her nearby? You did want to meet her, right? She's busy all the time at my place so this might be your only chance.

**Jaehee Kang**

Well, I guess if it's Luciel's friend, she'll probably share some of the same beliefs, which makes me trust that she won't seduce you or anything...

**Zen**

Well, I may not be religious, but I respect women. Plus, it'll be our first time meeting, so I doubt we'll even get that close...

Hm...

Alright, Seven. I'll text her right now and ask.

**707**

Coolio

...

A few minutes passed.

The redhead looked at his other phone as it buzzed. There was an unknown number texting, so he assumed quickly that it was Zen and fixed up a contact, even adding a heart to make it seem ideal. In their private messages, they had a slow conversation.

**Zen ♡**

Hello is this the right number? My name is Hyun Ryu, I'm Saeyoung's close friend. I asked him for your number and he just now encouraged me to ask you if you would mind taking care of me while I'm sick. I live alone and I'm not really good at many essential skills, and he seems to really trust you. Not to mention, you seem like a lovely lady from what he's mentioned, and I would love getting to know you.

**Mary Vanderwood**

Hi, sorry. I rarely use my phone but it's quite refreshing to have a new acquaintance! My life is pretty secretive because of my master's occupation, however I would not mind coming to help you, as his friend. He's telling me you probably have a common cold, in which case, you'll probably take a day or two to recover under my care (*'ω｀*)

**Zen ♡**

Thanks for replying so quick, haha. The way you message is so different from him, lol. It's kind of a relief.

Also, thanks for being so dedicated. It's pretty embarrassing to have a woman at my house, but I hope you won't be too revolted lol

**Mary Vanderwood**

I understand your concern, however I constantly clean up after Master Seven and he leaves things lying around all the time... So don't worry. I assure you it won't be worse than what I deal with here.

**Zen ♡**

That does sound like him lol

Thanks for making me feel better about it. I wish I could do some cleaning in preparation, but I feel really dizzy and don't want to risk walking around too much.

When are you planning on coming over? Tomorrow?

**Mary Vanderwood**

I was thinking today, actually. If you're feeling that bad, then I should come as soon as possible... I'm worried about you getting the proper solution. And my master would never admit it, but he looks very worried too.

**Zen ♡**

Today,,,

It's not too late, but...will you be staying overnight? I don't have a spare room...

**Mary Vanderwood**

Is that so? Then I guess I should sleep on a couch or something. Before you pull the gentleman act, it's fine really. I live in luxury because of my high income, so sleeping on a couch for a couple of days won't be a detriment, I can assure you.

**Zen ♡**

If thats what you want...

You can have Seven tell you the address right? I'm going to rest a little until you get here.

Thanks again (*^．^*)

I can't wait to meet you.

The redhead was visibly cringing at the fake personality he used, but he didn't have time to sit around, so he exited the messenger on his other phone and then slipped off of his bed, throwing his jacket and shirt off urgently. He then unzipped his pants and shook those off as well, walking to his closet casually. He pulled out a casual black dress rather than the maid outfit and some black stockings that came mid-thigh, and then placed them on his bed before heading to his shower.

He knew he reeked of alcohol, so he needed to make sure he didn't give that impression as Mary. So he took a quick shower and scrubbed the stench off. When he got out, he wrapped a towel around his waist and then put his glasses back on, combing his hair back frustratedly. It was so curly that it took a minute and some gel, but eventually he had it pinned down so that it wouldn't peek out from underneath the wig. After putting the wig on and styling it so that it wasn't obvious it was fake hair, he went to the bathroom and opened his disguise makeup kit. He took his glasses off and put some emergency contacts in...applied some fake eyelashes and contour to make his jaw look smaller, then slipping a black headband, which had a bow, over his head. He looked in the mirror with a sexy grin, admiring his genius work.

Once he was satisfied, he hung his towel and left the bathroom, slipping on some black boxers. He hummed to himself as he looked down at his chest, suddenly getting an idea. He pulled out a black strapless bra and slipped it on, then going back into the bathroom and folding a few washcloths, which he stuck into each side to make it look like he had decent boobs. The last step was putting the dress and stockings on, which he did carefully to make sure nothing ripped. He definitely felt pretty just being in this costume, so he was positive Zen would be blown away.

Laughing to himself triumphantly, he grabbed his spare phone and wallet and slipped on some black flats. He decided to take his red princess since his white princess was still at Zen's place. It was a smaller car, but way cooler. Plus, it was his color! He felt confident in it, which is why he drove like a maniac.

When he got to Zen's place, he slipped on a jacket that wasn't his usual one and got out of the car, locking it and running to the door because of how cold it was. He sent Zen a cute text with emojis letting him know he was outside, but after a moment there was still no response. He started to get worried, and looked around anxiously. When he turned the doorknob, the door opened for some reason, and it made his heart race. He cautiously walked inside and closed the door behind himself, locking it before placing his things on the coffee table. He didn't want to speak, because he knew his voice was too low, so he quietly approached the bedroom door and knocked on it, opening it shortly after. He expected Zen to be asleep, but the man was more than asleep...he was passed out, and had no shirt on, and was sweating. He frowned just seeing his friend like that.

He removed his jacket and put it on the end of the bed, then walking toward Zen and feeling his forehead with his cool hand. Before he knew it, the man grabbed his wrist all of a sudden and pulled his hand off, smiling charmingly up at him.

"This is a little embarrassing... I can't believe I didn't hear you come in." Zen laughed painfully and lifted his body up, propping against the headrest gently. "Thank you for coming. You know, you're very pretty up close... Like a model." He cooed a compliment.

"Th-Thank..." Seven panicked, saying the only word he could manage considering how embarrassed he was now. "Why was the door not locked?" He rushed his question, and thankfully he sounded like a mature woman, rather than a guy failing to sound like one.

The actor blinked in shock, only now realizing the situation. "Oh man... I didn't even think about it. I'm glad you showed up, cuz this neighborhood has some scary people in it. You're a life saver, Mary." He made that face like an angel again, and Seven couldn't help but blush profusely. He had never been spoken to in this way. Even if he was hiding behind a facade, it felt so dreamy. "You're all shy..." He chuckled adorably. "I'll have to keep complimenting you, then."

"Y-You're certainly a charmer..." He laughed awkwardly and then moved a strand of hair behind his ear, averting his gaze slowly. "I'm going to prepare some things, and make you some herbal tea. Sit tight, okay?" He reached his hand out to Zen's head and scratched the top of it as if he were an animal or child. He felt so weird after doing it and it caused him to leave in more of a hurry. He looked around the room a bit to seem clueless and then went to the bathroom, slowly opening the door and peeking inside. He walked in slowly and turned the light on, gathering a washcloth and bucket, filling it with icy water. Once he had it full enough, he brought it outside to the bedside, dipping the washcloth in the water to soak it up. Afterwards, he folded it and spread it over Zen's forehead, getting way too close to his face in the process. The way those red eyes pierced into his soul made him shiver, but in a pleasing way.

He double-checked to make sure he didn't have any bad symptoms and then left the bedroom with a bow, heading off to the kitchen. He didn't know how to cook for shit, but he did know how to make soup and tea, simple stuff like that thanks to Yoosung. So he put two separate pots on the heated stove, filling one with vegetable broth and the other with enough water for tea. He found some noodles after digging around and set those aside, walking around in circles until eventually both were boiling. He took the teapot off of the eye and set it on the counter, then opening the pack of noodles and dumping them into the boiling broth. He turned the heat down to medium and put some spices in, and while it was cooking he made some ginger and honey tea in a mug, which he carried back to Zen's room after it was finished setting.

Seven took a deep breath when he saw that smile again and tried to calm down, setting the tea on the bedside table with shaky hands. "Um...do you need anything urgently?" He made conversation again, though he refused to make eye contact, and still had red cheeks despite his disguise.

"I want to know about you, Mary. Do you mind just talking to me while I feel better?" The actor made those helpless puppy eyes and frowned, and it was that moment Saeyoung knew just what kind of position he was in...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> probably smut next chapter???  
> We all know seven is sad and horny 😔 sometimes u cant follow the lord man


	10. met with a sinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven finally grows some balls and makes a move on Zen, except he gets advice from the strangest possibility.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning fellas!  
> Once again, you can skip if you like :)

Saeyoung didn't know if it was because of the overwhelming scent of cologne, or if it was because of that meticulous look in Zen's eyes, but he was kinda starting to break down into a shell of his former self. He was a man of God but, at the same time, his bi tendencies left him constantly wanting to experiment. When he was around so many attractive guys, it wasn't exactly easy to hide how he felt. Zen was so attractive, too... That long hair, those eyes, and his sugary skin- he practically glowed, even when he was sick.

That's why he was grateful when Zen fell asleep after eating. They talked for a while about each other, but the conversations were slow and oddly nervewracking. He was in the living room currently, trying to clear his mind by talking to the others. A chatroom was open with his brother, MC and Yoosung, which was pretty understandable. The two boys 'lived' together and were probably doing their own separate things in the same room. As far as he knew, Yoosung was the only one aware that Mary Vanderwood was just him in disguise.

**MC**

Hey Seven! You aren't sleeping yet? I thought you would be since you've been working so hard lately...

You're gonna be okay, right?

**707**

ummmm

yeah totally!

i can't sleep, though, even if i want to

**Yoosung ☆**

He went totally lowercase so he's probably depressed again

**707**

Depression isn't a mooddddd

dummy lolol

Nothing's wrong with me!

I'm Perfectly Fine

**Yoosung ☆**

u suck at lying dude

why don't u ever vent? it'll make u feel better

Saeran just vented to me and cried a bunch and he feels a lot better lolol

**Saeran Choi**

Don't tell him that...

It's embarrassing.

**MC**

Personally, Seven

Whenever I feel sad or conflicted about something, I look my problems in the face and follow my gut. Usually my gut tells me to cry lol, but seriously, your problems won't be solved until you do something about them

**Yoosung ☆**

so rite (*>_<*)ﾉ

**707**

What if your problem is a person?

And the problem isn't actually a bad thing, but just really weird?

Like what if that problem is kinda more like

a desire

**Yoosung ☆**

You basically admitted just now that you're thinking about sex lol

**707**

okay,,,

but I'm used to hiding when I feel like this because of my religion

the difference this time is that i can't take my mind off of someone specific

**Saeran Choi**

There's a lady in the chat, you two...

**MC**

I don't really mind it lol

I'm an adult too, so it's not like it's weird to talk about things like this

**Yoosung ☆**

Seven don't tell me

ur thinking about

**707**

please don't say any names hahaa

if you get it right I'll freak out

I just dunno what to do...

I don't want to think like this anymore

**Yoosung ☆**

Are you sure?

When you say that, are you lying to yourself?

Or is it genuine?

**707**

pls stop reading my mind or I'm gonna roundhouse kick you into the sky (T_T)

**MC**

So you're basically just having fantasies about the person you like?

Lol I do that all the time with Jaehee

**Yoosung ☆**

oh wow you just admitted that didn't you

why is every1 falling in love except for me

(｡í _ ì｡)

**MC**

Wym???

A lot of you guys aren't in love tho

**Yoosung ☆**

Oh right, you haven't been at the hospital with us.

Jumin is hella flirty with V and its cringey as hell but still cute ngl

**MC**

Aw!

They deserve each other (^з^)-☆

I feel like V just wants to be understood, and Jumin already knows him so well, so it seems like they might be bringing back old memories to cope or something, u know?

**Saeran Choi**

I don't understand a relationship like that...

It's too good to be true.

**707**

V needs time to get over... you know who

There's no way he's thinking about love right now.

Trust me.

**MC**

You're right. He was completely in love, wasn't he? So it's probably hard for him to forget everything they did together. I guess I understand...

**Saeran Choi**

Hey, brother...

Can I say something stupid?

**707**

i guess so

You don't have to comfort me if thats what you're thinking.

**Saeran Choi**

Hell no.

Stop whining like a baby and get off your ass. Do something about what you're feeling for that person instead of just waiting for the impossible to happen.

I think I know who you're talking about, and what your situation is, so you should take my advice and do something about it.

**707**

gettin scolded by young bro

idk why, but seeing you say all that made me kinda energized.

I'm gonna take your advice

**Yoosung ☆**

Oh god

Why is that scary to me?

**MC**

it's not just u lolol

Seven is so weird when he's pumped up

The redhead exited the chatroom without another word and stood up with tense shoulders, putting his phone down before heading off to Zen's room. He was excited and nervous at the same time. He was totally about to sin, but for some reason he just didn't care anymore.

He let out a shaky breath as he neared the bed, eyes full of lust yet also concern for if his plan backfired. Once he was seated next to the bed in the chair he had pulled over earlier, he took the now hot washcloth off of Zen's forehead and placed it in the bucket of cool water, then sucking it up and pulling the covers down to expose not only the actor's ripped chest, but his toned legs as well. He wasn't going to do anything without consent, which is why he was relieved when Zen stirred from his sleep.

They made eye contact for a moment, and then the actor blinked in shock. He reached for the comforter and was about to pull it up over his body, but Seven grabbed his wrist and grinned intriguingly. "Hyun Ryu, your mindless flirting made me realize just how desperate you must be, but don't worry... I'm kind of in the same boat." He didn't know how to really turn someone on, especially Zen, but he was going based off of what he knew about the other boy's personality. When Zen finally let go of the covers and stared at him with a look that was a mixture of contempt and desire, he let go of his wrist and moved his hand slowly down to his crotch. He was super thrilled to know that Zen was actually enjoying himself.

"Mary, are you sure about this...? It's not pure... It's kind of despicable, actually... But if you want to have some fun, then I don't want to get in the way of your decisions." Those passionate eyes were slightly possessive all of a sudden, and although it worried Seven a bit, it also turned him on, so he nodded eagerly. "So, you've wanted me since you first laid eyes on me, huh? It's understandable." He smirked and held his hands out impatiently. "Come here, then. I'll properly take responsibility." Once again his words were seductive and sweet.

Seven took Zen's hands and carefully got onto the bed with his assistance, then pulling the actor's underwear down and exposing his erection. He had never done this before with another person, but his body was moving on its own accordance. He wrapped his hand around the length and began moving his hand to pleasure Zen, scooting closer in the meantime and using his other hand to caress those toned pecks of his. He wanted to have fun too, but maybe it was for the best if Zen never found out who he was. He knew he should keep to himself and just fulfill the desire to watch this go down, but no matter what he wanted, his face just continued moving closer and closer to Zen's, until finally he kissed him. He didn't care if he was sick, honestly... He tasted so good, his lips were so warm and soft. Seven was losing his damn mind, and even moreso when the kiss became heated. He was so relaxed, and it was likely because Hyun reciprocated his affection, holding onto his hair as he deepened the kiss.

He was twitching impatiently just thinking about the rest of their fun, but he was infatuated with Zen's touchy side. He never imagined the man would like foreplay so much, but it was addicting. In fact, he loved kissing him so much that, the longer they made out, the more sensitive he felt. It resulted in him moaning desperately when he finally pulled away, and despite not wanting to feel attached, he stopped his hand's motion and slipped onto Zen's waist, straddling him as he initiated a more intimate kiss. This time, not only were they both contributing, but Seven had his arms around Zen's neck, and Zen was holding onto his waist securely. Something about it just seemed way too romantic, if that was even the word.

When the second kiss ended, they both had clouded eyes and were panting in synchronization. Seven expected Zen to make a move, but instead, he reached up to his head and played with his hair. "I know it's you, Saeyoung. You really expected me to not notice..." He bit his bottom lip angrily and pulled the wig off of the other man's head, then frowning in disappointment. "Were you really fine with me never finding out? Why do you need a disguise like this anyway?"

The redhead stayed silent for a moment and soaked in all the guilt, knowing his excuse wouldn't cut it. "I don't feel free in my body. I thought if I was someone else, then I could do the things I want to do without feeling bad..." He explained himself briefly, then removing his fake eyelashes and messing his hair up so that it was back to its curliness. "When did you find out...? I thought I was being careful... Was it the fake boobs?"

Zen sighed and smiled, shaking his head in shame. "To be honest, I had my suspicions when you kept forcing the idea onto me earlier. But when you got here, I saw your eyes. I know your eyes. They're one-of-a-kind, you know? So, I've known since you got here. Not to mention, you're on top of me right now, and you're definitely not a girl." He smirked and lifted Seven's dress up, pulling his boxers down and jerking him off. He was pleasantly surprised when the hacker began moaning and tensing up. "So, you couldn't stop thinking about me, which is why you came over, so you could seduce me, right?" He looked up into Seven's eyes, but the boy quickly clenched them shut and covered his mouth.

"I really did want to take care of you...but you're the one who kept flirting and making me feel things..." Saeyoung didn't really know what was coming out of his mouth until he had already said it, and he totally regretted that sentence. He basically admitted being attracted to Zen, didn't he? He was so freakishly embarrassed... But he didn't really have time to panic; in fact, he had been holding back so much that he was already close to snapping. He held his dress up and clenched onto it tightly, unable to suppress his noises and body movements anymore. Why did it feel so good with Zen doing it? It was so much better than doing it by himself.

"I can't believe you made a move when I'm sick like this. I hope you know you can't blame me if you catch my cold... You're the one who kissed me first." The actor teased Seven, moving his hand even faster around his erection and rubbing the tip with his other hand. Zen wasn't expecting the hacker to let loose so quickly, so he was shocked when he suddenly came all over his hands and dress, a naughty cry leaving his mouth as he did. "This is your first time with someone else, right? Don't worry...it's mine too." He reassured the younger man, sitting up and pushing him onto his back.

Seven tried to catch his breath as Zen hovered over his body, tugging his dress off and throwing it to the floor. "A-Are you sure this is okay...? We can have sex?" He asked timidly, removing the annoying bra and tossing that aside as well.

Zen laughed airily, his eyes squinting because of how funny the other was acting. "If I didn't want to, then I wouldn't be on top of you. But are you sure you're okay with it?" He continued smiling, hoping to make the air between them less awkward.

"I... I want to... I know it's wrong, but..." His cheeks flushed red once again and he averted his gaze. "I...can't stop thinking about you... Sorry if that grosses you out."

"It's not gross at all. You can think about me as much as you want." The actor chuckled lowly and pulled Seven's underwear off, spreading his legs slowly. "Just tell me if you start to hurt. I'll stop, okay?" With these words, he leaned down a initiated yet another kiss.

The redhead was almost calm again until Zen kissed him. It was definitely his favorite part of this whole ordeal. He hoped they could keep doing it. Not because it felt good or anything, but because it made him so happy. He wasn't sure why, but he was happy.


	11. a little misunderstood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoosung and Saeran have ADD conversations in bed and warm up to each other even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just purely fluffbusiness  
> Reminder: skip if you'd like :)

After their chat with Seven and MC, both Saeran and Yoosung did their own thing for a while. Saeran painted his nails blue, and Yoosung played The Sims 4 until he fell asleep at his desk around three in the morning. They rarely talked, but when they did it was always kind of awkward since they were both young and depressed with trust issues. However, tonight, Saeran was missing human interaction a little. He had so much fun talking to the others in the RFA, and they were so kind to him despite everything he had done in the past. That's the main reason he felt so attached to Yoosung, who allowed him to stay at his place until he could absolutely control his personality switch. He was grateful in simple terms.

He watched Yoosung snore at his desk from the bed, frowning since the light from the monitor was so bright, and likely harmful. He hated that the blonde was so careless, so he got out of bed and walked over to the desk, slowly spinning Yoosung's chair around to face him. In an instant, the boy fell over and almost ended up on the ground, but thankfully Saeran caught him in time and pulled him up. "Hey. Yoosung?" He spoke quietly, struggling since the other was heavier than him. He barely managed to move him over to the bed, and once he was there, he felt weak all of a sudden and fell onto the bed, Yoosung landing on top of him unfortunately.

At first he wasn't embarrassed because the blonde was asleep, but that quickly changed. In fact, when Yoosung opened his eyes, even he was blushing at their position. Thankfully, he quickly stood up and averted his gaze, shoving his hands in his pockets nervously. Saeran just looked up at him in both awe and confusion, wondering if he was angry or something. "Sorry. You looked uncomfortable, so I tried to move you to bed. And I got lightheaded... I'm sorry." He didn't know where the sudden apology came from, but it caused Yoosung to finally look back at him in shock.

"N-No, no! Don't apologize. I appreciate it!" The blonde smiled brightly, then gently petting Saeran's head as he pulled away and walked back over to his desk. He saved his game and closed it, then shutting the monitors off and returning to the bed.

Saeran was a bit pouty for some reason, and he couldn't quite place the reason, but he didn't sense his mood improving anytime soon. He held his head down when Yoosung returned and refused to make eye contact with him, however he felt horrible for doing it. He didn't know what was wrong with him, he just suddenly was thinking about Rika so much. He was somewhat pleasantly surprised when Yoosung sat next to him and pulled him into a gentle side-hug; it made his heart race like usual. "Are you okay? You look like you have something on your mind."

The younger twin wasn't relaxed at all, but he was able to trust his instincts and lean into the hug. "I...feel safe with you. I really like when you pet me... I never got any affection or praise from her, so it feels good." He admitted sorrowfully, for some reason being unable to return the smile. "Do you think I could stay with you even longer, Yoosung?" He thought he was being a little clingy or gross, but despite his pessimism, Yoosung was still the same sweet, understanding, accepting man.

"You can stay here as long as you want. I just don't think it's very comfortable for you... Maybe I could take my friend's old futon." Yoosung suggested while deep in thought, causing Saeran to move closer to the boy and smile finally as he moved his hand over the younger adult's thumping heart. The blonde blushed in response to this strange gesture, though he didn't say anything that might offend the other. He did kind of like the closeness after all.

Saeran eventually wrapped his arms around Yoosung's neck, slipping carefully onto the boy's lap and straddling him. He didn't intend for it to be sexual, so he was glad when he was hugged back tightly. He missed this sensation so much. Having someone who cared about him and nurtured him...it was so peaceful. "It's not like I'm uncomfortable here. Actually, this is much different from my childhood, so it's very nice. The only similarity is that...I used to have to sleep with my brother because we were poor." He didn't know why he was blabbering about his past, but he felt like he could trust Yoosung enough to share these memories.

"You know, when I watched you and Seven yesterday in the hospital, you guys looked so brotherly. It makes me happy to see one of my closest friends in high spirits... Even if he does tease me a lot, I still love the crap out of him. Same with the others. I love them all so much... I can't wait for you to become an official member and become close with the others like me. No matter how long it takes you, I'll be right here with you, okay?" The younger adult was very emotional during the night, and it was pretty obvious. He just figured he should make his intentions clear so that he could keep having these conversations with Saeran forever. He would provide the support necessary for the boy's happiness.

He could have stayed in this position all night and talked to him, but it wasn't long before he began hearing sniffles and feeling warm liquid drip onto his shoulder. He pulled his head away enough and noticed Saeran crying, but it was definitely the good type of tears, because he was also blushing and looking into his eyes. Either way, he was still surprised and helped the other back down onto the bed, turning onto his side to face him as they lay there.

"Th-Thank you... Thank you for supporting me... You're so kind, Yoosung..." Saeran wiped his wet cheeks and took a few deep breaths, attempting to cast his bad thoughts to the side and forget about them for the moment. "I want to be close with my brother again, but every time I think about him, I see Rika. I was barely able to withstand the contact yesterday..." He finally came out and said what was on his mind, causing the blonde to prop himself up and smile excitably.

"Hey, we could totally get you back on track. What if, when Zen feels better, we all four go out and have some fun? Don't you think being around him in public would help you control your switch? Kinda like at the hospital?" Yoosung felt confident in his idea, but despite his puppy-like features accentuating how thrilled he was, Saeran still seemed unsure.

"I dunno... Won't it be awkward since they have weird chemistry?" He referred to his brother's strange behavior earlier, flushing from his shyness just thinking about it. "I mean, Saeyoung was at Mr. Zen's house, wasn't he? After monitoring and spying on the chats you guys have for so long, I'm sadly aware of his craze with crossdressing. I wish I could unsee it." He explained his worry, and Yoosung suddenly blushed as well. The scenario must have clicked.

"You're right..." Yoosung paused for a moment to think about a way it wouldn't be so weird for them to hang out. He didn't want to invite one of the girls, because they didn't understand Saeran like he did. "Oh, what if it's like a double date? I don't know how else to put it, but it's not like it means we're actually dating. It's just a simpler term, so that those two cocky idiots feel comfortable."

Saeran hummed quietly, rolling onto his back to avoid eye contact. "Okay. That's fine with me. I just feel bad that you guys have to be seen with me... My mother always told me I was ugly, which is why I dyed my hair..." He hated that he made everything so negative, but he couldn't really help it. Rika forced him to think this way, and now it would take a while for the bad part of his brain to be replaced with new memories, since he was already a mature adult.

He noticed how silent it became after he spoke, but he didn't understand why. Eventually, Yoosung finally sighed and scooted closer to him, grabbing his hand and interlocking their fingers. "I don't really think you're ugly. It doesn't matter what one person told you a long time ago. You give off these innocent yet sexy vibes. I can't really pinpoint how to describe it, but you're definitely really attractive. Everything about you is perfect the way it is."

For some reason, the younger twin found himself frozen in embarrassment for a moment. His heart was thumping so loudly inside his chest that he could hear it, and not to mention his face was completely flushed. "Wh-What are you saying...?" He wasn't angry about the compliments at all, just mildly surprised, but he soon swallowed a lump in his throat and nervously rolled back onto his side to stare into Yoosung's eyes. "Do you always say what's on your mind like that? It's kinda..." He paused, feeling guilty once the blonde's expression changed to one of concern. "It's attractive. I think that's a good quality to have, to be truthful, you know? I'm surprised you can't get a girlfriend." He joked with the boy lightheartedly, chuckling to distract himself from his own shyness.

"I know, _right_?" Yoosung quickly replied in a flabbergasted tone, but after he laughed it off as well, he couldn't help but frown when he made eye contact yet again. "To be honest... I don't think I want a girlfriend. Not just because I think I'm better off alone, but because... I think I'm gay. It just makes the most sense to me." He smiled again, feeling comforted knowing that Saeran was indulging him. "I don't think I ever once looked at women the way I do men. I think women are kinda scary, too...especially Jaehee."

Saeran hummed in response to the small rant, wondering about his strangely similar thoughts. "It doesn't really matter in the end. You like who you like, and you shouldn't feel ashamed or anything... I don't really know about sexuality... I've never given it any thought, nor do I care to. After all, love seems kind of pointless until I can accept _myself_ first." He didn't feel any shame at all when admitting his feelings, but somehow Yoosung seemed to grow even fonder of him. There was a moment of silence between them, and then he sheepishly shifted his eyes. He wasn't expecting Yoosung to kiss his forehead, but he didn't have time afterwards to even gather his thoughts. He didn't feel embarrassment, nor anger, nor happiness. He was just kind of...shocked, and then the blonde's arms wrapped around him lovingly, and he accepted that he was content in this warmth. He slowly let his eyes close as he rested his head just underneath Yoosung's, a sweet smile appearing on his lips against his will, as he steadily drifted to sleep.


	12. attraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven seriously CANNOT get enough of Zen, though that was probably already obvious when he stooped so low to get his attention...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: sex, depressing thoughts
> 
> This can be skipped as well if you're just here for the JuV!

Saeyoung spent the night as a little spoon after his romp with Zen. He slept incredibly well knowing that someone was there by his side. Of course, when he awoke though, he was a blushing mess, and couldn't see very well since he had taken his contacts out and put them in the bathroom. He sat up and carefully moved the actor's arm back to his body, then taking a deep breath and pressing his hands together in prayer. He wasn't regretting last night at all, but he still felt guilty for not being able to hold back and abide by his own moral, religious code. Despite his intense prayers, they felt useless when Zen suddenly woke up and pressed a number of kisses against his shoulder and back. He certainly was fired up early in the morning.

Instead of complaining, the redhead just closed his eyes and enjoyed the affection, though after a moment his thoughts grew impure as he remembered the sinful things he had done last night. "D-Don't touch me..." He managed a quiet voice, and thankfully Zen promptly pulled away, frowning and attempting looking into his eyes with a concerned gaze.

"Are you okay? I mean, I'll stop, but...is there a reason you're refusing me?" Zen kept his hands to himself, not wanting to make the other more uncomfortable than he already was. "Was I too rough last night?" He made a quick guess, but in response, Seven quickly shook his head, still hiding his eyes away.

"It was good... I felt good. It's not anything you did... I'm just...disappointed in myself cuz I... I already..." He tried to admit to being aroused, but he just couldn't form the words, so instead, he pulled the covers off of his legs to expose his bulging underwear.

Zen blinked in astonishment, his whole face flushing red as he stared back and forth between the erection and Seven's cute expression. He gulped nervously, trying to resist his urges to pleasure the other. "There's no need to feel ashamed or anything... It's normal for men to feel this way, especially in the morning. Plus, I...was trying to get you aroused." He lied cleverly for Seven's sake, trying to get him to snap by leaning close to his ear and whispering.

Seven shivered from the strange sensation and finally opened his eyes, already out of breath from the tension. Once he felt relaxed, he shyly pulled his underwear down, exposing his erection that was twitching and dripping. "Let's have sex again." He murmured quietly, moving his crucifix necklace behind his back so his sinning was out of mind.

The passionate-eyed actor got chills from watching Seven's slow movements, and his lips uttering those words. He really couldn't resist when he was inviting it. So he moved in front of Seven and caressed his thighs teasingly, eventually spreading his legs and leaning close to his face. Once they were kissing, he really took his time trying to make the redhead go crazy with anticipation. He swirled his tongue around Seven's and moved his hands up to the boy's exposed chest, rubbing his nipples with his thumbs. When those melodious moans began to fill the air, he pulled away from the kiss and instead latched his wet mouth onto Seven's shoulder. He sucked and nibbled roughly, creating hickeys all over the shoulders and neck.

Once he was satisfied, he pulled off and stared into Seven's eyes, smirking at him playfully. "Your voice is so cute... I don't think I can control myself..." He grabbed the redhead's thighs once again and backed up a bit, then bending over between his legs and grabbing his dick with a tight grip. "You don't mind if I have a little fun, right? I feel bad for not being able to hold out longer last night. But today, I'm very energetic." He spoke in a tone foreign to Seven, a twinge in his voice that made Seven so nervous, and the butterflies in his stomach multiplied.

"Y-You're gonna...put it in your mouth...? Isn't that gross...?" He bit his lip as Zen's mouth grew closer to his privates, examining his attention to detail whilst opening it and sticking his tongue out. Even though the actor seemed perfectly calm, his face was completely red, and that's why Seven felt so shy. They didn't know each others boundaries, but at the same time, they were such close friends that it felt pointless to worry. That's why, when Zen's hot tongue pressed against him, he finally let his voice out to express that he was comfortable with this. He had been a bit timid last night and hid his voice as much as possible, so he felt bad.

His mind went completely blank upon feeling the sensation, and he watched as Zen pleasured him. He was so seductive no matter what he did, and Seven was constantly on thin ice around him. "Mm... N-Ngh... I-It's weird..." He panted breathlessly, though he started to get even more sensitive once Zen used his entire mouth. It was so hot and made him grip onto the sheets and squirm his legs desperately. Eventually, the older adult moved his head so roughly that he couldn't keep quiet, and he clenched his eyes shut due to how intense the heat was.

Zen made steady yet quick movements with his head, carefully pulling Seven's underwear all the way down and off of his legs. Afterwards, he reached his hands toward the other's knees and spread his legs, then taking his mouth off and licking the tip. His expression was cluelessly sexy and his eyes were full of lust, and he continued to stare up at Seven as he pressed his slender fingers against his ass. It was still a little loose, but not good enough, and he didn't want to hurt his friend, so he shoved a few fingers inside and stretched as gently as possible.

With this, Seven's moans were much louder, and he was surprised to feel the boy's hand on the back of his head after a moment, tugging on his hair erotically. He didn't have a problem with him taking initiative, which is why he didn't struggle or complain when the younger man forced him to suck him off again. Despite the roughness, he was still enjoying himself because he could tell Seven was feeling amazing. He knew he would burst soon with the combined stimulation, but he didn't try to pull off. Instead, when the hacker orgasmed, Zen let him hold his head down and fill his mouth with his cum.

After cooling down and catching his breath a bit, Seven finally let go of Zen, who then pulled off slowly and stuck his tongue out, letting the fluid drip onto the redhead's chest and abs. Because of the obviously tense air between them, he used the situation as an advantage and shoved his fingers as deep as they would go inside Seven, wiggling them around inside a bit teasingly. "You're making such lewd expressions... I never imagined you would be so naughty." He nibbled on Seven's jaw and then his ear, being a little rough to spice things up a bit. Eventually, the younger man grabbed his wrist and pushed his hand away, panting heavily with a lustrous glint in his clouded eyes.

"Don't use your fingers... I want the real thing." He thought he was going to have to beg because of Zen's ego, but to his surprise, the other just huffed at him annoyedly and pulled his boxers down, positioning himself at his ass. He pushed in slowly at first, but after a moment he couldn't keep his patience and shoved all the way in. Seven's voice was loud because of it, but he didn't try to hide his face. He did put his arms above his head, however, because of how tempted he was to move around.

Zen moved in and out slowly, each time being rougher with his thrust than before, and in almost no time at all he was speeding up to a comfortable pace. "You're so tight... It's like you can't stand when I'm not inside you." He teased Seven with a subtle grin, holding onto his waist with a strong grip and moving his hips much faster because of the friction. "Do you like this position, or do you want to change? I want you to enjoy this." He spoke lowly as he panted, his gaze fixated on Seven, who was moaning and sweating from the pleasure, unable to gain composure.

"Y-Yes...! Ngh...s-stop moving for a s-second! I can't..." The redhead swallowed his quick breaths and choked on them, not used to so much physicality. When Zen suddenly pulled out, he shivered, his legs trembling since the absence was so disliked. He took the opportunity, however, to try and entice the actor by flipping over onto his hands and knees, backing into him with a desperate look in his foggy golden eyes. "I'm...not used to being this confident, so don't make me regret it..." He admitted shyly, his entire face flushed a deep hue to accentuate his introvertedness.

"There's no reason you'll ever regret this. It's a nice look on you." Zen chuckled flirtatiously, grabbing onto Seven's ass and reentering him. Afterwards, he let his hands wander all up and down his back, eventually resting them at his hips and reverting to his rough movements. He thrusted his hips quickly, listening to Seven's erotic moans and watching as he gripped onto the pillows, his back arched fairly uncomfortably and his face against the bed.

Saeyoung clenched his teeth when Zen began accelerating his thrusts, his voice wanting to soar because of the pleasure but not allowed to. There was a spot that just felt so good...Zen may have been inexperienced but he sure knew what he was doing. He couldn't keep quiet forever, but he wasn't even ashamed when he grew louder and louder with each purposeful attack. "Hah...hngh... R-Right there...! It feels so good..." He groaned out, his legs wrapping around Zen's behind him since he needed to occupy his limbs.

Zen expressed very clear enjoyment during their sex, but when he began cumming, his eyebrows arched, he grunted intermittently, and he thrusted even rougher and deeper than he already was. It nearly drove Seven to his breaking point since he was being stimulated so much. He was crying, drooling, panting...his head was spinning, especially a few moments later when Zen's intense drive caused him to cum as well. He was even too weak to moan, simply twitching in response and panting heavily as he held onto the pillows for dear life. "Sorry, I didn't pull out in time. I hope it doesn't make you uncomfortable..." He apologized as he panted, trying to catch his breath as he gave Seven some space and pulled his underwear up.

"I-It's...fine..." Saeyoung mumbled shyly, still panting pretty heavily. He didn't even have the energy to sit up, so he just plopped down onto his stomach. Zen was gonna have to wash his sheets regardless...so he didn't care anymore. They were even now. "How do you have this much energy in the morning? I can't even open my eyes until eleven usually..." He inquired, slowly turning onto his side to face Zen, though they were at a good enough distance that he couldn't really make out much without his contacts. His chest was covered in cum, which only made him look sexier, but he was kind of disturbed by the sensation.

"Um...S-Saeyoung... I guess I did kind of get carried away... You're not in pain or anything, right?" He frowned his innocent frown, moving closer to the redhead again and helping him sit up. He answered his own question in the process, because Seven winced upon being properly adjusted on his ass. He looked like he was struggling to keep the rest of his tears in, though it wouldn't really matter since his face was still pretty soaked.

The younger adult furrowed his brows and averted his gaze, annoyed that he was now able to see Zen's oblivious expression. He was anything but sorry. He definitely was just being deceitful to get a good reaction...because he was a big pervert too. "I-It's nothing. Not like you can take it back anyway." He defiantly replied, his face full of annoyance, and yet also traces of lust. "You better not regret it...not when you m-made me feel so good..." He admitted this reluctantly, his expression softening up as he shifted his eyes back over to Zen.

"Oh. I—um... I understand." The actor was blushing vibrantly as well, unable to take his gaze off of Seven, who was way too skilled at making his heart beat out of his chest without even putting in much effort. "S-So...you're trying to get back at me for earlier. Too bad I have an iron will." He smirked, pressing his lips against Seven's jaw and keeping his hands to himself. Although he did want to take advantage of their alone time a little longer, he refrained. However, shockingly, the redhead kissed him back all of a sudden, just on the lips, and way more intimately. Unfortunately, they were interrupted by the hacker's phone ringing. It had to be his boss, because this was the phone he used for work.

Saeyoung pulled away from the kiss without much complaint, then reaching over to the nightstand and relying mostly on his hand to find his phone. Once he had it in his hand, he took a deep breath and answered the call, immediately being met with Vanderwood's accusatory voice.

"Hey, where the hell are you? And why don't you have your normal phone with you?" He complained, causing Saeyoung to flinch at his harsh tone and become angry again.

"At a frie—I-It doesn't matter! I don't want to be home right now, Vanderwood..." He replied emotionally, his logical mind still fuzzy from all the fun he'd had with Zen.

The brunette clicked his tongue over the phone. "You're at a friend's house? What friends? Do you seriously think people will care about you? All you're good for is hacking. That's why you work for me. So get your lazy ass back here." Without another word, he hung up the phone, leaving the redhead feeling discouraged...empty. He was frowning, holding the phone in his now trembling hand that he lowered to his leg. Vanderwood was probably right. He needed to continue following his job's conditions and not get all caught up in his personal life.

"Are you...okay? I couldn't really make out what he was saying." Zen placed a supportive hand on Seven's shoulder, feeling him twitch uncomfortably as he did so. He had never seen him look so dull before. Sad maybe, but not...soulless. "Saeyoung, it's alright. I dunno what he told you, but you shouldn't listen to him. You gotta make decisions for yourself, you know?" He tried to get through to the boy, but still no response no matter what he said.

Seven knew Vanderwood was right, and yet his heart was frozen all this time. After a moment, he couldn't stand the feeling of desensitization any longer and abruptly dropped his phone, then grabbing Zen's jaw and initiating yet another kiss with him. The actor definitely wasn't expecting it, but held him gently and kissed back nonetheless. The hacker wrapped his arms loosely around Zen's shoulders and closed his eyes, purposefully pulling away afterwards and exposing his neck to Zen, who then promptly began making hickeys on his skin. This was the only thing he could do to take his mind off of the reality he had to face as soon as he left. He wanted to make the most of this lewd morning.


	13. for a change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V is meant to be discharged from the hospital, but when the others arrive, they see he is less fit to leave than they imagined. Jumin arrives and tries to comfort his friend, like old times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter! There is a bit of a cliffhanger, but that's because I'd like to write a flashback from Jumin's perspective in the next chapter :)   
> Hope you enjoy this shorter chapter!

_**Two weeks later.** _

Things weren't really going as planned. The members were more distant than usual because of Saeyoung being absent...from every call, messenger chat, event. Everything. His boss was driving him crazy and wouldn't let him leave or talk to the others. Not to mention...Jumin's work just kept piling up, no matter how hard he tried to manage his time with the already intense load. And Yoosung was busy accompanying Saeran to his rehab sessions, so he could rarely see the others. Jaehee...well, she was helping Jumin on her own accord, so she didn't have time for visits. MC and Zen were the only two with free time to be with V in the hospital. Though...Zen had plenty of stress on his shoulders because of his worrying nonstop about Seven. MC was pretty much the only sane one there.

MC and Zen were together picking out flowers to celebrate V's awaited discharge from the hospital, which, according to the nurses, was today if he showed good progress on his redevelopment. Apparently, he still hadn't been able to walk, and the nurses had bad news to tell them, but wouldn't do it without Jumin present, so they'd all been in suspense for a couple of days.

When they arrived at the man's patient room after checking in, V was wide awake, but he looked...different. He didn't carry the same inviting aura as usual. Instead, it felt very heavy and sorrowful. Like the wind on a cool, foggy day.

Zen walked over to his bed and placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to get a better look at his face. Despite him invading V's space, there was no response...not even a twitch. Before he could say anything, the nurse came into the room with an exhausted demeanor. He guessed from the context she had been just as worried about him as he was now.

"Excuse me, I'd like to talk to you two for a moment. You're close friends of JiHyun's, right?" She ushered them over to the couch in the room, letting them sit down before continuing with her report. "He hasn't spoken a word for about a week now... In fact...he hasn't really been present at all. We don't know what to do. He's been like this since this older man showed up, claiming to be his father. He showed us ID and we didn't refuse his visiting request since he's family... I don't know what happened between them while he was here, but it's made JiHyun unresponsive." She explained all this urgently, her voice carrying the weight of one with many traumatic experiences.

"Um...was this the bad news you couldn't tell us?" Zen asked anxiously, and the nurse shook her head with hesitance, clearly not wanting to admit to having even more bad news. "This guy...did he have a suit on, brown hair, and scary eyes?" He changed the subject, and after thinking about it briefly, the nurse nodded affirmatively. "Jumin mentioned his father being a piece of work... I should call him and let him know." After making this decision, he pulled his phone out and dialed the businessman's number. It rang for a while. He tapped his foot impatiently, and MC watched him with a face full of concern as she fiddled with the daffodils in the bouquet. Eventually, after calling again, the man answered his phone.

"Jumin Han. Who am I speaking to?" His voice was dull and straight to the point, leaving no time for existential thoughts in between words.

"Hey, uh, Jumin... I know you're busy, but something serious happened at the hospital. Apparently V's father showed up last week. V is acting...strange now." He didn't spare any details, wanting Jumin to be in the light about his friend's condition.

The raven-haired man cleared his throat over the phone, remaining speechless for a good bit of time. "I...I'm on my way. Could you try and... No, never mind. Thank you...for calling. Thank you." With these words, he hung up slowly.

Zen frowned and put his phone down, thinking deeply about how Jumin sounded in comparison to a usual day's conversation. He sounded so soulful...passionate even. The nurse left them be after a moment since the atmosphere was so gloomy. No matter how many times Zen and MC checked on V intermittently as they waited for Jumin, there was still no movement at all. They didn't even catch him blinking.

When Jumin finally entered the room, he should have been a professional figure, but instead, his blazer was drooped over his arm, his tie was messy, hair was damp from the rain, and his shoes were worn, almost as if he had run the whole way here. He was panting as well, but he didn't waste any time getting to V's side. "His father is strict and abusive. He probably said something to provoke V..." He turned his head toward Zen and MC, who were still both stricken with concern. "He would keep V from seeing his mother as a child...since she was disabled. After he turned 16, he started to spend time with her again, and she upset him by submitting one of his paintings to a school contest, so he stopped seeing her. And one day when he went back, there was a fire, and his mother...died protecting him. He's carried that guilt on his shoulders ever since then, so if his father said anything...it would be hard to reverse that trauma." He furrowed his brows as he explained V's isolated individualism, having already turned back toward his childhood friend since he couldn't bear to say all of this while making eye contact.

Jumin grabbed V's hand and sat on the edge of the bed, squeezing him tightly to invoke a warm feeling. "I should have been here..." He bit his lip frustratedly, shaking his head because of how angry he was at himself. He felt V squeeze his hand back, and the man's expression melted into one of pain, sadness, contempt, all of the above. He still wouldn't speak, however. "I was right, then. Your father said something...about her. And you're upset because...? Because you couldn't fight back." He inferred, moving his other hand to V's face and wiping tears that were forming as he spoke. "No. More like...you wouldn't." He corrected himself, and V finally budged, dropping his head and grunting as if he had been stabbed in the chest.

"I want to see my mother... I want to be with her..." JiHyun's voice was strained, but genuine nonetheless. Jumin was in shock upon hearing his words, even glancing in disbelief at the others on the couch for a second. "My own father doesn't even want me alive...just because I can't see. I'vebeen nothing but a burden all my life..." He held his forehead and tried to calm his heartbeat down, but not even slowing his breathing helped. His whole body felt like it was burning.

"JiHyun...none of the time we spent together was a burden. Please, calm down." Jumin tried to ease things, but the elder adult just wouldn't cooperate with his help, or response to his guidance. Every time he tried to comfort him, he seemed more on edge.

V eventually stopped crying, back to that emotionless expression as he loosely gripped onto the sheets, his body filling with a numbness he had never felt before. "Let go of me. I can't...do this anymore. I'm tired... I can't keep doing this." He closed his eyes slowly, his eyebrows pinched despite his desire to stay peaceful.

Jumin took his hands away from V's body and then looked down at his lap in disappointment, clenching his fists shut to refrain from taking his anger out on the others. "I'll get out of your hair...I'm sorry that you're in so much pain." He stood up and sniffled, hiding his teary eyes as he walked out of the patient room. Zen, who had been watching with a nervous heart, stood up and followed him out into the hall, grabbing his shoulder from behind and giving him a good punch across the face once he was turned around. He didn't know why, but he was angry.

"Are you seriously gonna give up like that? The fuck is wrong with you? You seriously piss me off! V needs you right now, you know that, bastard!" Zen passionately raised his voice, grinding his teeth accidentally as he watched Jumin stumble and hold his eye.

"Of course I know that... But it's... ngh...precisely why I'm giving him space. I want him to be calm before we talk again...or else he might suffer from it." He replied with a sullen tone, his tears finally falling as he shook from the stress. "I do not...want to lose him again..." He sniffled yet again, wiping his face as gently as possible since he had a huge bruise forming on his eye.

The actor was wide-eyed and wide-mouthed when Jumin suddenly broke down in front of him. He never imagined this guy could let himself cry in front of others. He was so tough on the outside that it was completely unexpected. "S-Sorry...for hitting you. Heat of the moment..." Zen guiltily apologized, squeezing Jumin's arm reassuringly. "You're not going to lose him. But running away now isn't going to solve any problems. He'll be just as distant no matter how long you put this off. And even though he said he wants space, I guarantee you he was just lying because he's upset and doesn't want you to carry the weight of his problems. That's the kind of person he is, Jumin. You know that better than any of us."


	14. cries for my sake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jumin relives the day JiHyun came back from three weeks of grieving over his mother, three weeks of abuse from his father, and three weeks of wanting to end it all because of the loss of one of the two things that was keeping him alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these boys...I could write about them for hours

Jumin frowned as he walked to his homeroom class. He hadn't seen JiHyun in three weeks, and his father wouldn't tell him anything. He was expecting him to be absent again, but when he walked inside, he was so surprised that he almost dropped his bag. After hesitating for some reason, he rushed over to his desk and put his bag in the chair, then turning to his friend, who wore bandages all up his arms and medical tape on his brow bone.

Since JiHyun didn't talk first, he grabbed his shoulder and gently massaged it, trying to provoke a reaction. "Why are you all beat-up, hyung? I haven't seen you since the art show... Is everything alright?" He waited patiently for a reply, jumping in surprise when JiHyun suddenly looked up into his eyes. He seemed completely different from before, his eyes carrying much less purpose than usual.

"Sorry for making you worry... To tell the truth...I went to see my mother to talk about what she did, and she tried to cook dinner. We were both engulfed in flames, but she saved me. I still had really bad burns, so they kept me in the hospital for a week, and then—" he was prepared to keep telling the rest of the story, but Jumin was unnerved by his calm voice, expressing it very clearly on his face.

"Stop. I don't want to hear anymore. I can already tell... You're different." He spoke assertively, and JiHyun's eyes flashed with a glossy disbelief. Or maybe it was admiration? "You're actually really upset, aren't you? You left out an important detail...about your mother. She didn't make it, did she? She died protecting you." He inferred, and time seemed to freeze between them momentarily.

JiHyun shivered upon hearing those words spoken so nonchalantly, eventually tearing his eyes away from Jumin's gaze. "Yeah, but it's okay. Father says I'm better off without her. I should focus on my studies instead of worrying about hobbies." He replied harshly, though his voice was low and soft, heavy with the weight of his conflicting emotions.

"I figured you'd say that..." Jumin sighed and backed away from his friend. Something was seriously off about him. He didn't like seeing this side of the boy.

"I'm going to use the bathroom before class starts. Vouch for me if I'm not back in time." The sky-blue adorned teen stood up from his desk and walked out of the classroom.

Jumin stood speechless as JiHyun left him, clenching his fists at his sides. He was infuriated, and yet he didn't know why. He looked behind him to his silent classmates, all of whom were staring at him with expectant faces. He took a step toward the door, and then another...and before he knew it he was slowly making his way into the hallway. He bit his tongue stubbornly as he approached the boys' restroom a bit of a ways down the hall. He walked inside quietly, trying to listen for his friend. At first, he figured he was in the wrong place, or that he had been lied to, but then, as he took a couple steps farther inside, he could hear the faint sound of sobbing.

He didn't know how to react, so he just stood there and listened for two minutes. His body felt strange...like his clothes were soaking wet, or as if he had cinderblocks attached to his limbs. That's how it made him feel to hear those cries. Not able to take anymore of the tight feeling in his chest, he walked closer to the stall. "JiHyun, can you...open the door?" Although the crying stopped, no words left his friend's mouth. He was anxious until the boy opened the stall. He wore that same empty expression, but it didn't deter Jumin from walking inside and closing the stall door behind himself. It was a little cramped, but it didn't compare to the closeness they shared when JiHyun clung to him out of the blue.

Those skinny arms wrapped around his torso, and his head rested atop Jumin's shoulder. "H-Hey, it's going to be okay. I know you're going through a hard time, but I'll always be here for you." He awkwardly returned the hug, not even considering letting go since the other teen was so shaky in his grasp.

"I was so rude to her, Jumin... Right before she died...we were arguing... If I had just heard her out...she wouldn't have been so upset and forgotten about the stove." JiHyun spoke quietly, his nails just barely digging into Jumin's uniform blazer. Before they could speak anymore, the school's PA sounded and the announcements began for homeroom. They were officially tardy, but it didn't really matter now.

"Don't blame yourself. You need to have more confidence. There was nothing you could have done to save her. You would have died...and I don't want to lose you." Jumin carefully pulled away to give the other some space, wiping his face so he didn't look so sad. "Don't think about what you could have done differently... Instead, think about how you can make it up to her from now on. Okay?" He scolded the elder teen, watching as his brows pinched together and his eyes closed, likely from his irrechangable discouragement.

"Can I...stay with you tonight? My father, he... He...put his hands on me again. He won't stop until I give up everything important to me... I can't stand it anymore." JiHyun sniffled as he explained his jittery behavior, dropping his head in contempt. "I want to be with you..."

Jumin blinked in astonishment at JiHyun's straightforwardness, wondering when exactly that attitude was added to his list of shocking changes. He had been blunt as a kid, sure, but he was all quiet now... It was just really strange. "O-Of course." He didn't know why, but he felt hot all of a sudden, like his cheeks were on fire, and his hands were clammy. He knew what JiHyun meant, but it still made his heart race. "I'm glad you're back..." He cooed gingerly, and the teen lifted his head back up, smiling against his will. That smile...was Jumin's sun, his oxygen. It was everything.

____

That evening, after getting the necessities from his house, JiHyun came to Jumin's place. His father was out with his new wife, so they had the house to themselves...and the butler, and the caterers...but they were technically alone in their own little space.

They went to Jumin's bedroom and did their homework together, pushing through it quickly since they were both above-average students. Of course, Jumin did have to catch his friend up, but that didn't take long either.

When it was fairly late, around nine in the evening, they watched random Korean sitcoms that were on the television. They weren't necessarily funny, but they were a distraction. They didn't really talk much either, just silently sat in one anothers' company for the most part, occasionally commenting on something they didn't agree with in the show they were currently watching.

When it became ten in the evening, JiHyun got a phone call from his father. Jumin watched him with concerned eyes, muting the TV when he finally decided to answer. "Hi...dad." He muttered into the phone, gulping nervously.

"Why haven't you come home yet? You know you're supposed to tell me when you're out with friends." The man sounded angry...for what reason? Shouldn't a father be worried about his child instead of upset at them in a situation like this?

"Yessir... I'm with Jumin right now, at his place. I'm sorry; I should have—" he paused abruptly as Jumin wrapped his hand around his thigh, blushing from how awkward it made him feel. They were touchy all the time, but being away from each other for a few weeks definitely made it more stressful.

Jumin still had a plain expression, not showing an inch of embarrassment at all. His eyes were glued to JiHyun, however, because all of his worries were centered around him.

"You better be telling the truth. I'll be seeing you tomorrow. Bye." With these brief words, the boy's father hung up on him, without even saying goodnight, or a simple three words to show he really did care. But of course he didn't care.

"Hey...JiHyun, maybe you should get a girlfriend. Don't you like that pretty blonde at church?" Jumin blurted this out randomly, and his friend got even more red in the face. He didn't get angry, though...he usually had a tendency to get really shy when he was embarrassed, not upset like Jumin.

"W-We've only talked a few times... Besides, I mostly...want to protect her." JiHyun answered Jumin as confidently as possible, his eyes dejected and his eyebrows drooped.

The younger teen took his hand off of JiHyun's thigh and then grabbed his jaw roughly, becoming more serious now that they were making eye contact. "But I'm right, aren't I?" He made sure to stay right where he was until JiHyun finally nodded slowly, seemingly guilty about his feelings. "I saw your drawings of her." He admitted cockily, smiling slightly as he let go of JiHyun's face.

"I draw a lot of people that interest me." The vibrant teen made an excuse, and it was actually true, but the girl's face covered many more pages in his sketchbook than anyone else. Jumin just decided to drop it.

"We should try to sleep... My father will get upset if we stay up too late." He changed the subject, turning the television off with the remote on his nightstand. He took a deep breath as he got settled under the comforter and duvet, blinking slowly when he realized how flustered JiHyun seemed. Why did time feel everlasting when he had this recognition? Was he getting soft?

The older teen looked over at Jumin with thoughtful eyes, getting underneath the covers and laying atop the same pillow so they were close enough to see each other in the dark. "Jumin, can I tell you something kind of personal...?" He couldn't tell if Jumin ever nodded, but after a moment of silence, he decided to speak up anyway. "I don't want to leave your side. Without you there to comfort me the past three weeks, I felt so small and discouraged. I...almost tried to kill myself last week. But now that I'm with you, the pain causing my heart to ache has transformed into something warm, like I'm being smothered by your love. It's such a nice feeling..." He said all of this with a soulful, scratchy voice, his throat burning with the desire to cry yet again.

Jumin didn't know what to say at first. JiHyun just confessed something extremely serious to him, but was suddenly smiling as if he hadn't just admitted said thing. And then he realized that he himself was crying, that he could feel his friend's agony wash over him. It was harsh pangs of cramps that didn't have origins, they just made him feel so insignificant in this moment. "I don't want you to leave me... I can't lose you. I'll be here for you, so never ever think about suicide again. Just confide in me. Please."


End file.
